Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Waking Up~

I have been waking up for the past couple years and will talk more about that later as you get to know me.  Today I am waking up to the control I have over my abilities and the pain level of my disabilities.  I am on day four of no doctor prescribed pain pills for my debilitating arthritis as they call it.  I think I will lose the word debilitating as of today.  I need some joint replacement surgeries and so on but that is not as powerful as what is taking place inside my body at this time.  My body is becoming a mere vessel in my mind as I gain true control over the pain I feel daily.  I have decided that I am not going to worry about getting my prescriptions filled from town to town and more so I want to rely on new methods of pain management.  More so I do not want to be dependent on any substance.  Today pain pills, tomorrow nicotine and caffeine, one step at a time.  I mentioned Theresa in my Making Friends tab, she is a traveling nurse and helped me to remember why I fought against getting the gastric bypass surgery for the past 5 years, thank you Theresa.

I spoke with a friend who suffers from the same form of arthritis as I do and she has been using a gluten free diet and noticed substantial improvement and now does not even need ibuprofen for pain.  I have decided to use the diabetic diet in a gluten free form.

Yesterday was a huge challenge for me.  I had to push myself physically in ways that I would not have imagined myself being able to accomplish.  Proudly I did so on day three of no prescription pain pills and did not give up, did not quit, the sun shined on me, the birds sang with me and I did it!

I was recently referred to a doctor who I was going to go see to get on a diet pill that has grown quite popular, I was excited about the idea of a pill that made losing weight easier.  Losing weight for me is about mobility  not about appearances, to be honest I love my body as is and think I look better big, it's who I am.  I have decided I do not need that diet pill, I only need me and the powers I am waking up to that I harness inside of me to succeed against all odds and overcome all challenges.

Last night I decided to create a schedule for myself that includes the following three...  Meditation, Reading, Writing (which I do already, hehe)!  I am learning how to meditate above water, I have always meditated with my head submerged in the tub as that is where it is most easy for me to clear all my thoughts and hear that inner voice speaking to me.  When I discovered my animal totem is the Whale I was not surprised.  I will write more on animal totem discovery today.  An amazing woman named Karen who is one of my spiritual guides and healers helped me to discover much and she deserves to be acknowledged on her own page.  Her insight and powers are phenomenal.  I loved her before I met her.  Thank you Karen.

I started reading a new book last night "Soul Work" by Sue Patton Thoelle and found in the first few pages such strength.  Today I begin living as a soul in a body rather than a body seeking a soul.

Thank you Sue
Lelania~
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