Sunday, April 1, 2012

What's Up Doc?

A Sunny Sunday with Family to start the Month of April is a needed break from the norm.  My Niece and Nephew are equally as happy to have me as I am to be here.

While my sister made some Paleo Pancakes the kids and I decided to play dress up and make our Sunday a dress as you wish day.  Nicky decided to be Doctor Frey and Kailie decided she wanted to be a butterfly for the day.  

I helped Kaili pick out her butterfly outfit and put two braids in her hair so she could have antennas to steer herself while she fluttered about.  Nicky picked out the perfect pair of pants to match his professional attire and went to work finding his doctors tools. 

I took my shower and got dressed as a hippy loving flower power one lover, hahaha.  Hey, I had to use my imagination to come up with that one with my limited wardrobe.  The kids thought I looked great and Nicky was extremely impressed that I could braid my own hair without a mirror while sitting on the deck waiting for the doctor to arrive to examine my knee. 

Shortly after I finished my braids the Good Doctor showed up to do his exam of my knee....

He was nothing short of a genius in diagnosing a cure for my knee...

The truth is I was just videoing him for fun, I didn't anticipate that he would be such a good little doctor in displaying the way I feel most times I leave the doctors office. 

 I usually feel like I still don't know what exactly is wrong.  For years I trusted the doctor to prescribe a pill that would fix things.  I feel quite ignorant now in my thinking of not thinking at all.  I became a person who thought there was a pill for everything.

In pain? Here take this pill!  Overweight just take a diet pill.  Feeling depressed? Try this pill, oh that didn't work, here try this one, okay that didn't work lets try this one it outa do the trick!  Having anxiety?  Here we have a pill for that too! Oh you can't sleep? Take one of these pills at bedtime!  I was wondering when they would prescribe a pill that would fix my problem with inadequate doctors advice, hmmm.

I would return to the doctors and spell it out for them but still all they had to give me was another pill and my next appointment to see how that pill worked out.

After 7 years of pain pills, antidepressants, anxiety meds, sleeping pills, diet pills now I am on nothing, I take Advil if I absolutely have to.  I rely on natural remedies and yes I am in pain still but no more than I was on the narcotics they prescribed.  In fact I think those pain pills caused more problems in my bones and caused more depression and anxiety than they helped relieve the pain.

Pineapple is a natural anti-inflammatory so are many other things.  Power foods are a great source of the things my body needs to produce it's own healing abilities.  The meds I was on did not help me to feel better they helped me to keep taking more meds.  While they may have eliminated one symptom they added 3 more.  It was like being on a medicine merry go round except I wasn't merry at all!

Diet pills did not work so the next it was have surgery which I declined.  Not once did any doctor I saw say lets figure out why your overweight, what your triggers are, what's going on upstairs and start from there so we can find a healthy weight loss plan for you.

I'm not saying doctors are therapist but they could have prescribed me one of those to be honest and probably gotten better results and saved years of unnecessary meds.

My sister was lucky enough to meet a doctor who did just that, he got to the bottom of what changed in her life to bring on her depression.  So there are good doctors out there who are interested in a solution that doesn't mask the problem and cause more due to prescribed drugs.

Ironically while typing this my Sister walked in the room and I while I was reading this to her she received a call from her pharmacy to see if she would like them to contact her doctor for a refill on her pain pills that she didn't want or take when given to her in the first place.

I don't want surgery I want to learn to eat foods that help me.  I want to fix what's going on in my mind that puts health on the back shelf due to things like my budget, frustration, emotional eating, etc..

I also want to control my weight loss and do not feel the need to be bone thin, that's just not me.

 I know to many that won't make sense but I am a big girl and wear it proud.   We are all meant to be our own shape, size, color! Meant to be who we are.  I don't want to spend my life trying to be something that the media says is healthy or sexy.  I don't want to let doctors cut me up so they can say they fixed me when they can't even get me the right pill to fix the smaller issues.  I want to be me.

A great book that my sister shared with me "This is who I am" by Roseanne Olsen is an awesome example of how I feel about us as individuals with amazing photography showing women of all shapes sizes and colors is a must read for all women who suffer complexes about their looks or weight.

I want to be healthy and I do want to lose weight just not massive amounts that leave me skin and bones.  I like who I am.  I just want to be healthy with good mobility and independent to be able to take care of myself without a walker or a wheel chair.

Everyone thinks they have the answer, we are all coming from our own place I have learned.  While someone can look at me and make assumptions about my reasons for being obese they are based on their own fears and ignorance to be honest.

Obesity is a disease that is given little compassion by even those close to us, those who love us the most.

I wonder what it is that makes it so hard for us to be accepting or understanding of issues that others battle with.  What it is inside of us that makes us feel so righteous to conclude our opinions of someone else issue is word, our solution would solve their problem while we walk around unable to solve our own.

The reality is that until I started loving myself, really working on giving myself unconditional love I was not able to fix any of this.  For me to care about my health and weight I had to care about self.  I had to say hey I need to learn more about eating healthy and started seeking out information about food and what it does when I digest it.  I started watching documentaries and learning about the additives and poisons I have been eating all these years some that turn off the mechanism in my brain that tells me when I am full.  Some that are designed to cause obesity, diabetes, cancers, heart disease, etc.. the list goes on.

I have been subjected to ridicule by society for years.  Being thought of as lazy, having no will power, shunned as less than.  I only grew more depressed more by the ridicule and unaware that one of the contributing factors to my issue with weight was not knowing that I was eating foods designed to make me eat more of them so some company or corporation could make a few more bucks off of me.

I am learning that I am not defined by the opinions of others, I am defined by my own.   Today I am improving that opinion by working toward truly loving self. Combined with educating myself on the foods I eat and world around me I feel more powerful each day and know that no amount of pain will make me want to just take a pill again.  I am waking up to who I am, how I impact the my world and the world around me.  I am waking up to the lies I have been fed by doctors, commercials, media, and the institutions that govern our foods and health.  I am choosing to be a survivor in life rather than a victim.  It truly is a choice.  One I am improving on each day.

Thank you Doctor Frey for giving me a great lesson in what has been ailing me for many moons my precious little carrot and hummus eating nephew.  I lover you the best always and am so proud of you for being the most amazing 5 year old doc I have ever met.

One Love,

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