As I sat sipping the warm goodness of my coffee I was reminded of the warmth and love I felt glowing inside of me all day yesterday from the moment I awoke to a new day. A day somehow full of hope and new beginnings for us all.
Just the day before there was much pain and disapointment over the lack of care and concern from the media reports. Despite my own disappointment I somehow woke feeling full of hope for new beginnings and feeling Jacob's presence all around me. I spent the morning in prayer talking with Jacob and God asking them both to speak through me on this day. Asking them both to guide me and help me to be their honest and true voice to help bring some peace to the hearts of the many left lost and angry by the loss of Jacob.
Today I hear more clearly that inner voice that I now know as God, today I am able to listen now that I have chosen to do so. As I sat listening to my heart I thought of all the children we have lost... Trevon Martin, Oscar Grant and too many more. Knowing Jacob and his family and friends makes this tragedy so close to home for me and I find myself in moments of such confussion and dispair thinking about how hard this is on his loved ones. My heart cries for all the famalies of lost loved ones in a way now that can never be changed.
When I spoke with Jacob's Mother Donna she said her and I woke on the same page. We discussed starting a movement for change in communities across the world to help end senseless violence. I told her of my idea and vision born that morning of all the families of lost loved ones coming together and asked her if she liked the idea of the name FOLLO Families Of Lost Loved Ones. She did and we talked about staying in touch and working more on this in the near future. I love Donna already she is truly a blessed soul and a testimony to the young man Jacob was and always will be in our hearts.
As I packed my belongings preparing for my ride back to One Love tears filled my eyes and I began to cry uncontrollably saying my goodbyes to Budda, Nemo and Paula. That's how I operate, I don't cry in the midst of things happening, it is when they are coming to a closing that I break down. Leaving Sacramento is harder than I thought.
Tomorrow is Jacobs public viewing and funeral. Having to leave before that was so hard for me to do. I have forged an even stronger bond with my nephews these past 5 days, one of tears and compassion. A bond of concern. I feel my place is there helping and being of service to all who loved Jacob and mostly to the youth who are left confused and angry by all that has happened.
|Jacob Moses Green|
April 25th 1994 ~ April 25th 2012
After speaking with Donna (Jacob's Mother) I drove to the Church who held the Car Wash and then to Amanda's (Jacob's Sister) and later also spoke with Joesph (Jacob's Brother) about starting a community effort to honor Jacob. One that can help the younger of us to find a positive outlet to honor Jacobs life and make sure his death counts for something positive, for change. We all agree we cannot rely on the media, our justice system or our government to bring change for us in this world that seems so far gone. We all agree that change begins in us and all that is needed is the choice to make it happen. I spoke with a member at Liberty Towers Church and am waiting to hear back from them on organizing a meeting for the community to come together after we lay Jacob to rest. A meeting to help us all continue to heal and keep Jacob's memory alive by seeking solutions to the problems in the community that will lead to more senseless deaths.
I think I Sacramento may be my next location for a couple months so I can get involved. I am looking for a home for One Love there and someone who will be willing to tow me out there. If anyone out there knows of some where that would be a good place to finish painting One Love or of someone willing to tow One Love, Mr. Marley and Me out there please email me at email@example.com.
|Nemo thank you for blessing me with being a part of this song made from the heart|
|I love you my Neph's every minute of every hour of every day of this life|
and the next. NO time or distance can separate Us or Our Bond.
|Nemo putting his heart into words for his lost loved one. I am so proud of you neph|
I spent time last night talking with Joe who told me a lot more about Jacob. Joe expressed to me how as a human his selfish nature wants his brother back and hurts deeply for his loss. As one of God's Children his spiritual self knows Jacob is with him always. He told me how Jacob and he talked for countless hours of things that a young man Jacob's age usually has no true understanding of, his description of Jacob's spiritual beliefs, relationship with God and awareness of the world around him reflected that of an 80 year old man. One of the last conversations he had with Jacob was Jacob saying goodbye to him... Looking back he knows that is exactly what Jacob was saying. In fact almost everyone close to Jacob had similar conversations with Jacob in the last couple weeks of his life here on earth. He said goodbye to them all, but in a way that was not a goodbye at all. His words were not words of fear or regret rather words of understanding and comfort. He wanted others to be okay and know he is never far, he is always alive in our hearts.
|Joesph thank you for sharing your pain and joy with me, you are a blessing to us all|
Budda wants to get involved in painting One Love, he thinks many of his friends will be happy to help to. I cried at the idea of having them all take part in helping and suggested we paint something to pay tribute to Jacob on One Love. Budda and Nemo really liked that idea.
Last night my best friend Kim came to visit, I played some of the News Video's for her and read her the recent blogs about Jacob, she cried with me as she listened and we went outside and talked for an hour or so about life and the afterlife. Kim spoke with tears streaming down her face for Jacob and his family and said she would like to get involved in anything we do to bring the community together. She has been a part of that community for a long time also and her own son is not much older than Jacob when he was taken from us. Kim called as I was pulling out to wish me a safe drive and tell me she was going to buy the book I recommended today "The Shack". She said she loved me and I returned the feelings as we both said goodbye.
Paula was the last to hug me as I pulled away and I broke down into tears in her arms. I really miss them all so much already. She stroked my hair in a not so common way for her and told me that it is going to be okay. Me and Paula go way back, she would normally tell me to suck it up and keep on trucking. Today she comforted me and told me it is going to be okay. I love you Paula.
Jacob's Family could still use help with the total costs of putting Jacob to rest if any out there would like to donate you can do so by sending a check or money order payable to Donna Green in care of Paula Dial at the below address.
For those who would like to pay their respects to Jacob and his family his public viewing and services will be held tomorrow at...
Rest In Peace Jacob Moses Green
Sierra View Funeral Chapel
6201 Fair Oaks Blvd.
Carmichael, Ca 95608
Public Viewing 10:00 am till 2:00 pm
Funeral Services at 3:00 pm
Donations Can be Mailed to
Donna Green c/o Paula Dial
387 Bell Ave. Apt. 45
Sacramento Ca 95838