Monday, June 18, 2012

Mean People Suck!

I have never liked bullies.  I do now however, have a different view of them than I did in the past.  Growing up I was picked on a lot due to having less than the other students at school or being the new kid quite often due to moving a lot.  When living on Maui during my middle school years I was picked on a whole big bunch until one day when a boy at the bus stop threatened to throw a metal ball bearing at my little sister for blocking his sunlight during a game of marbles.  Before he had the chance to throw it at her I took off on him,  throwing blow after blow as if I had fought a dozen or more times before.  While we were boxing the school bus pulled up and everyone on the full bus saw the fight so word spread around school by lunch.

All of a sudden a dozen or so kids who had been picking on me all year wanted to be my friend.  Even at that young age I was not impressed by their sudden change of heart in deciding to like me and opted to stay friends with the kids who liked me before they knew I could fight back.  Over the rest of my teenage years I gained the nick name "Jo Mama", a name earned for my motherly ways of protecting my friends who like me were the kids that the bullies picked on.  I developed some life long friends that till this day still call me Jo Mama and we laugh about the years we spent growing up and how I gained a reputation as a bully of the bullies, sort of a robin hood of the hood when it came to popularity.

I have never been impressed by people who pick on someone in a less fortunate position than themselves.  Especially people of privilege who live thinking themselves better than those with less than them.  Even less attractive to me are hypocrites who portray a role they themselves do not practice.  One of the most valuable lessons I learned growing up with very little in a lifestyle that brought a lot of struggle and challenge from a young age was to stand up for others, never walk by an injustice with indifference towards the pain or suffering of another.  I didn't learn how to stick up for myself till recently and have to say I am blessed that I have the ability in me now to do for me what I did for so many all those years.

If I was going through what I am going through today a few years ago with the Couple who owns the Ranch One Love is stuck on I would have been a victim.  The problem was I was conditioned from a young age to sacrifice myself for the safety of another, my little sister.  Today I realize I deserve the same as I gave to her or anyone else.  Today I will not allow these hypocritical unethical bullies to walk all over me and scare me into lowering myself to their level.

I am super proud of myself for how I handled yesterdays set of emails sent to me by the two owners of the property.  They sent me photos of my batteries telling me they were a fire hazard in one email.  Then in the next asked me if I checked my pilot light in an implicating and intentionally vague manner to suggest that One Love is at risk of a fire sitting there.  Rather than get upset and lowering myself to their level I simply called them on it by asking them to elaborate on the meaning of their words or have a great night.  I didn't lose any sleep over the underhanded threats as I realize that to start One Love on fire they would have to burn the ranch down.  I also informed them that screen-shots of the emails would be forwarded to any insurance companies and fire investigators if there was any fire to come and reminded them that I own a camera and did take photos of everything I own before leaving the property to assure nothing was altered, taken or damaged that I couldn't make a claim on against them for any foul play on their parts.

I have tried with this couple to talk to them both, it is very challenging trying to talk to people who have no accountability for the way they treat others.  I find it appalling that she being a divorce attorney who runs a website counseling others on how to interact during times of conflict uses such low blow tactics to pick on someone who has no money or resources and has plead with her to wait till the first when I get my pay with no concern for my disabilities or income level.  A lot of people I have spoke with say that them being attorneys explains their unethical thinking and actions.  I find that sad at best to be honest.  I would think after seeing divorce after divorce for her and civil litigation after civil litigation on his end of the law they would both seek more peaceful avenues of solving conflicts with others.

There is only so much people can take from us, those things can be replaced.
What they cannot take is our character, our joy and our inner peace as they
are the core of who we are and can only be surrendered never taken!~ Lelania
Overall I feel sorry for them, I honestly do not feel anger or hate and certainly not fear toward them.  I feel sad for them.  I recognize they are a part of me, a part of the whole that is all of us.  I realize they are on their  own journey here on earth school as I like to think of this world of ours and I know that they have to learn their lessons in their time and may not in this life time but certainly will in the next.  I am only blessed now to be reaching a point that I am changing things about myself that I am sure others at some point felt sad for me over.  I am sure many who used to worry about me, those I hurt with my choices and those who I crossed in my own justifications feel the same.



That is the awesome thing about life.  It is never to late to change, never to late to let go of old thinking and ways of doing things, getting things.  Anyone can wake up on any given morning and decide they want to be a better person and begin there.  Who we are is not defined by the past, it is defined by who we are today.  If we all had to live life defined by our pasts where would we all be?  There would be no reason for growth, there would be no belief in redemption or forgiveness.  I wish for all to find their place in their own path that invokes change in them the way I had to find my way to the place where it was time to change or go no further to be honest.  Today, my choices are not based on the goal in mind they are based on the realization that it is the journey that matters the destination is determined by the paths I choose not what I am willing to do to others to get where and what I want.

One thing I will not do is allow to be silenced or let others actions against me give me cause to live in fear.  I will stand up for myself.  Their law degrees carry no weight here, they like me are subject to the same laws of the land as I am.  They may think their knowledge of the law and resources allows them some bending of the law in their actions towards others but I know one thing in life to be true and that is that the truth is absolute and always comes out in the end.  Even more so I know that only I control how I feel so they are going to have to play games all by themselves or with each other.

I have secured a tow this upcoming weekend for One Love through Lynette and Rick who are willing to go up the Mountain to tow One Love.  Their truck is a two wheel drive F150 so if someone else can volunteer with a stronger and safer truck that would still be super appreciated.  I will be happy to say that One Love is safely down on lower ground and I have my home back.  I realize that if anything goes wrong between now and then it like all of this was meant to be and I will find the lesson in it and keep on keeping on.  At the end of the day I am impressed with the person I am becoming.  Letting go of my fears is the best thing in life I have ever worked on, I have a long way to go, however my ability to recognize that is half the battle and what allows me to welcome the next challenge and lesson so I can further my growth and never treat others the way I have been treated.

I do not want to be a person who justifies my ill treatment of others on the times in life I have been hurt, disappointed or betrayed.  Becoming those who hurt us does not get us even with them, it does how ever make us even to them.

Hopefully from here on out things go smoothly as far as getting One Love down the Mountain.  Your prayers and positive thoughts are much appreciated.  I will keep ya'll posted on the move and anything else that happens along the way.  Thank you so much for your love and support.

One Love
Lelania





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