Friday, June 1, 2012

Trusting Self

Phew, what a day.  I found out more about One Love's potential home today and am really looking forward to going to visit the property tomorrow and meet the woman who has taken the time to extend this awesome offer to me.

As you know I do not mention where I am located specifically until I have moved to the next location out of respect for those I live near during my stay and for my own privacy as well.  I am happy to talk about my experiences and promote parks once I leave who have a lot to offer the rest of you out there on any upcoming travels.

onelovejourney2012, one love journey, jojo williams, lelania
I have been paying the price the past 5 months to make my dreams come true.
Before that I lived paying the price for not daring to live my dreams.
Either way we pay a price!


This new location is quite a drive from here.  While I was seeking to get to Santa Cruz I ended up being led in another direction that is no closer to Santa Cruz than I am now.  In fact it would be a little further.  My intuition is telling me that this opportunity is no accident.  A big part of this journey is learning to give it all up to my Creator and the Universe.  Learning to trust that inner voice, Self!








I have found myself repeating old habits of helping others and taking on their problems on this journey but caught myself much quicker than I used to in the past.  I have however, slowed down my progress in my own growth by changing focus at times.  All great lessons and ones I am learning much faster than I used to when I didn't love me so much.  I believe that if this location turns out to be a good place during my visit tomorrow it could be the place I really need to be most right now.


onelovejourney2012, one love journey, jojo williams, lelania
Having learned what I have about life and what life means to me today I can never
go back to the way I lived before.  Loving myself is to valuable to me now.
Getting in touch with nature and spiritual wellness is something I have grown to be so passionate about.  I am finding that the joy in me grows like the new flowers bloom in the meadow, bright and brilliant.

My happiness is not based on material things today, the closer I get to nature the happier I am.  I feel whole when my feet are bare on the earth.  I feel joy in the morning sunrises sitting beside Mr. Marley that I never felt before now.



Just talking about this stuff with all of you now I am crying, but they are really good tears.  Change can be scary, I have made so many changes and each one overcame some of the fear I used to live my life by.  This change is not so different, however it is as exciting as it scary for me.  I will be challenging myself more at this stop on the journey.  I will also be able to take a break from the outside world in a way I never have before.  Just thinking about being surrounded by trees, wildflowers, birds and sitting high above the craziness of the world below makes me feel at such peace.

jojo williams, one love journey, onelovejourney2012, lelania
I love this quote, I used to say something similar a lot in my past.  Difference today
is that I already started and that feels really fricken great to be able to say!
I was out shopping today for food and supplies.  I even stopped at the Home Depot here for the first time. I found some more mistake paint, YEAH!  You all know how I feel about mistakes, THEY ROCK!!!

I was running low on a few colors, and guess what...Those are almost exactly the colors I found!  How cool is that. Mostly in Exterior too!  I met some of the employees there and have to say they were just as nice as the Antioch crew.  Home Depot is one of the major stores out there that I like and don't mind supporting because they give back generously to communities across the Country.



While I was out there were a couple really bad accidents on the freeway, there was some traffic jams and even some attitudes in the parking lots of the Trader Joe's I love to shop at.  While I was bursting at the seams with inner light thinking about tomorrow I felt sad at the same time for some of the people in my path today.  I remember when I was like that, you know.  I was stuck in this place where all I could see was getting to where I had to go, gotta get there, now, now!  Each person I saw in that place I offered a smile and said a little prayer for.  I also said a prayer for me to stay on my path of discovering what really matters in life.



onelovejourney2012, one love journey, jojo williams, lelania
On the Ranch Maui 1983
I lived on a ranch on Maui in my teens with my Sister.  Our third foster parent there gave us one of the best years of our childhood.

I still look back with such fondness and much gratitude to those times.  We were introduced to life on a ranch and I loved it.  I was in several rodeos and even rode a bull in one.







My first Rodeo I feel off the horse on the third barrel right into a puddle of mud.  I was so embarrassed.  Especially after being teased by the locals who had competed in these competitions probably since they started walking, haha.  I got back up though, shook the mud and and water off of my cowboy hat and got back in the saddle again.

onelovejourney2012, one love journey, jojo williams, lelania
It is not how many we fall off the saddle that matters,
it's how many times we get back up that counts!
We are never to old to get back up, I am living proof of that!
Later that year I placed 1st place in the barrel race competition and that was a glorious day for me.  I earned my self respect and even more I conquered my fears learning that it's okay to fall off the horse in front of the locals, just don't stay on the ground.

Then it seemed easier than it does now to challenge myself to overcome my fears.  I think as we get older the fears have set in more and we have to really find that place of youth where we felt invincible along with the wisdom of age to not repeat the same fears again and again till they become all we know.

The idea of living on a ranch again really sounds great right now.  I will let you know if this dream is doable tomorrow.

I have lots to do to get ready.  I am hoping to spend a week in Santa Cruz with my Sister and friends after the visit.  She may pick me up here when I get back from seeing the property.  It's going to be a lot of time in the car.  About 9 hours round trip and then there is the time in between where I get to see for myself if this is a go.  I sure hope so.  I am thinking very positive thoughts tonight while I listen to The Beatles with the knowing that the right thing will happen!

Have a most awesome night, I love you from a place of trusting myself to meet all challenges I am destined to meet.

One Love
Lelania
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