Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Mothers Prayer~

"Please God, help to strengthen my bond with my daughter today, help me to show her how much I love her.  Help me to express through our souls how much I want her, need her, love her always.  I bathe in your love and light, I accept all your love with such gratitude, thank you for showing me the way God, thank you, I love you." Were the words I spoke as I showered and cried out the nervous energy just an hour before she arrived.

Stella checking out Mr. Marley
As they pulled up I was relieved at my level of comfort and again said a silent thank you to my creator. She was a little slow to warm up as she was last visit, once she did though she was walking all over the place, laughing and enjoying me as much as I was her.  This time she didn't like my camera however as the flash startled her when she first arrived.  She sure has learned how to say no, so cute!











Marley wanting to play with Stella, haha



I showed the guys around One Love, we enjoyed some time with Mr. Marley who Stella was not sure about, she sure liked him but didn't like him enough to let him touch her, haha.













We went out to lunch at Tokyo Steak House, the chef rocked,   Stella loved the show, she sat next to me and it was very touching that during the scary parts she leaned closer, that made me feel so good.




Our awesome Chef put on a great show!!!  Thank you Tokyo Steak House!





Momma, I said NO! Haha
  She shook her head no each time I took her picture and then said "Stella' when I showed her the picture on my camera.  She is saying "DaDa, puppy, hi, and Stella" quite well.













The Chef showed us some love :)
She is so amazing you guys, she is really a special little girl and her fathers have such a big part in that. They are so loving, so nurturing.  We are truly blessed, Stella and I.  I have come a long way since February, even I noticed the differences in myself this visit.  My level of spiritual growth, self growth had me in a place of peace.  Gave me the ability to truly enjoy each moment as it happened without thinking of past moments or moments to come.







We came back to One Love and enjoyed some more time outside before they left.  Stella fully warmed up to me now let me hold her for pictures and I could feel our attachment, our souls connected.  As they left she blew me a kiss, she wouldn't look away from me.. then she signaled "I love you" in sign language to me.  Tears filled my eyes as I knew at that moment that my creator was as always listening to my prayers. 

As I walked back into One Love I cried, not the same as previous visit cries however.  This cry was one of relief and gratitude.  I know all is as it should be, no longer suffering from the self inflicted guilt of feeling like a failure for not keeping her I am able to say goodbye without the pain I used to feel.  I am able to feel blessed that she is with her fathers safe and sound, loved completely.  And this time I know that she knows I love her, she let me know with her sweet little hand circling her heart and the look in her eyes.  I love you Stella, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of my life and all that follow.

I am proud to say that I stayed on my diet, today is day 5 and I am doing great. I made another video yesterday for my challenge channel, please remember to vote and once again thank you so much for your love and support.






Have a most magical evening.  I love you all from a place of gratitude.

One Love
Lelania
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