Sunday, September 30, 2012

Connecting the dots~

I am in a metaphorical mood today, haha!  As I sat eating my roasted seaweed snack and grapes I couldn't believe how good the seaweed tasted.  I mean it was dancing on my taste buds and gave me the feeling of feeding myself something good, something I needed.

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All Natural Roasted Seaweed Snacks, Yummy!
I remembered back 10 months ago when I started buying these crispy little slices of seaweed because I had read of the many benefits of eating them.  I hated them in the beginning, I could barely eat one without wanting to spit it out and had to drink down gulps of water to get the taste out of my mouth afterwards.  However, I had stocked up on them, I had several packs of them in my cabinet and was determined to reap the rewards of their healthy benefits and not waste the money spent on them.

I would eat one little slice a day.  By the time I finished the package which is intended as a single serving the last piece would be so stale it was even worse than the first.  I didn't let that stop me, I kept eating one a day.  As time went on I was able to tolerate the taste and begun eating a few more at a time.  As more time passed I began to be able to eat a whole pack in one sitting and that was nice as they taste much better fresh.





Now here I am after about 10 months of eating these things and I fricken love them.  I mean I crave them, seriously.  I realized this morning just how much I love them as I sat enjoying the after glow of a great workout and swim and rewarding myself with a healthy snack of roasted seaweed and organic grapes.  I had to laugh out loud at myself remembering the look on my face when I used to force feed myself one single slice.

The same applies to many of the lessons I have learned on this journey.  At first each lessons was forced in the same way that eating those slices of seaweed was.  I would say the affirmations yet not feel them.  For example: Learning to be gratitude for each moment, good and bad took a lot of forced affirmations at first.  I would tell myself during an unpleasant moment to be thankful for that unpleasant moment.  I didn't really feel so grateful for it, I just kept telling myself I was.  

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As a body seeking a soul I lived in the dense reality of the rat race we call life.  As a dreamer, my head in the clouds I found moments of escape from the world below.  As a Soul living in a body I am the creator of my dreams, a master carpenter of my reality~


As time moved on I began to see the difference in me during the roughest moments.  Moments that in the past would have led me to depression or action to avoid that depression, avoid the feelings.  One day I realized that I was truly grateful in a moment I would have seen as a huge misfortune in the past.  It was at that moment that I understood what it means to be gratitude.  See, I wanted to change my thinking, to change my life.  I knew I had a lot of reprogramming to do and still do today.  I knew that everything I had believed in and practiced in the past had gotten me to where I was at that moment and the only way to go somewhere else, somewhere different was to change my beliefs, my thinking, my actions.

I didn't know where to go but knew I had to begin by throwing everything I believed to work in the past out the window because it obviously didn't work so well and kept getting me the same results in life.  In the beginning I just read, I read everything I could get my hands on that had to do with emotional healing and growth.  I also watched documentaries and reached out for counsel from people in my life who seemed to get it, were where I wanted to be emotionally.  I tried it all, everything that I was presented with.  Some of it worked and some of it didn't but it all tasted bad at first, haha!

Remember your power; your purpose is yours...  Like the river that flows to the ocean of Infinite possibilities, you flow with the strength of a river.  Beneath the calm surface so many walk by with indifference; lack understanding for what drive you; lives  a powerful current, a drive all your own.  Let your courage flow and your dreams grow into a vast sea of limitless reality!  Be true to you!

Today the truths I have learned about life and what matters most in living are so far from anything I thought or preached in the past.  I had to let go in order to understand and appreciate the many lessons that life presents us with to help us grow.  I spent years not growing at all and had no idea I was not really living at all either.  I was living someone else's idea of what life is supposed to be, not my own, not the life I came here to live, the joy I came here to experience.  Joy is the key for me!


So today I remind myself that staying true to me, knowing that while things may not always taste good, may not always feel good, that does not mean they are not good.  Reminding myself to push forward seeing all obstacles in my path as opportunities to master the art of being.  Seeing all self judgments or judgments from others as opportunities to practice mastery.  Today I remind myself to just breath~

I love you from a place of understanding our paths serve us both in the ways intended for our own paths, with the acceptance that all of it benefits us as the whole.  

One Love
Lelania
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