Saturday, September 8, 2012

Dear Diary~

A couple of conversations on Facebook with one of my favorite people brought me to this entry.  Starla and  I knew each other long ago when we were but young women in this world trying to fit in, figure out who we were and have fun like teenagers do.  Even then we were both sensitive creatures and good at hiding it from the world around us.

Starla, kindred spirit in truth and expression, your honesty in your writing
inspires me to stay true to myself in my own writing, thank you~
As the years have progressed us on our own paths I am delighted that our paths crossed once again on Facebook.  Delighted to see that we have both came into our own, both deeply emotional women with the courage to express our hearts to the world.  Like myself she has been accused of using Facebook as a diary, told she shares to much, her post are to emotionally revealing.  I differ, I love her posts they are substance filled with real emotions that we all feel yet most hide and protect from the rest of the world with the misconception that others don't have the same feelings, fears, dreams, etc...








Over the past year her and I have shared many conversations on Facebook, both of us celebrating the others open and honest sharing of feelings.  A tear can come to even my eyes reading some of our conversations as they are real and get to the heart of the matter most days.

This morning she shared some words that spoke on us judging each other for our individuality, our sharing openly that really hit home for me.  Really got me thinking about the illusion of separatism that keeps us living most of our lives feeling alone, afraid to be ourselves.  The irony is that while we think we are alone we try most of our lives to be like everyone else.  We point the finger at others for being different, weird, strange, crazy forgetting that while we point the finger at someone else there are three pointing back at us.

I like the metaphor of the three fingers pointing back at us because for every one thing we judge another for there are likely at least three things about ourselves that resemble the very thing about another we judge.  When someone says "I feel" we say "I think".  I feel scared and alone is met with I think you are sharing to much.  Maybe we shouldn't think so much and feel more.

We live in a world of separation and it is no accident that we do.  Our world is set up that way with intent to keep us at odds while a small percent of us profits off of this illusion that we are separate keeping us at odds with ourselves and others.  When we reach a point in life of growing tired of living the lie and embark on a journey we are put into a category of "finding ourselves" as if that is some condition or ailment, haha.

Truthfully it is a journey each soul comes here to take, and each of us will have to reach a point of not caring what the external world thinks to embark on an inward journey to self.  A journey that is so enlightening that we are forever changed, we are no longer bound by the invisible bars of a prison we have been conditioned to live in.

I think a good place to start for each of us is to question all things that provoke judgments towards others.  To seriously ask ourselves when we find ourselves judging another why we feel the need to judge.  Look inward and question our feelings over our thoughts.  We then find the answers to be clear, we are taught to judge as a way to keep us from seeing the truth about our oneness.

Since it is election year here in America I will use that as an example of conditioned separatism as it is as good an example as any.  We all see it everywhere, Republican vs. Democrat.  During the election year we are divided more than most times socially and for good reason.   The misconception that the Parties represent different sides of the issues is a genius plot to keep us at odds so that we fight with each other believing we are on opposite sides of the issues when really the Parties have the same ulterior goal and are ran by the same powers in charge.  We sit blaming the other side for our problems like sports fan at a football game while our future is already destined to take about the same path.  Trying to get people to understand this is hard to do because we want change so badly we cling to the belief that the leader we trust and cast our vote for will bring change.  We also avoid any real responsibility in bringing about change ourselves by accepting that someone else will make these changes for us.

Why? Because we feel small and insignificant to be affect change globally.  Most of us don't even believe in ourselves enough to affect change in our own lives let alone the lives of us all.  We view life as happening to us most of our lives without realizing we create the life we live.

We are not taught how to share our feelings honestly and that is all that is needed, being true to our feelings, sharing them openly, encouraging others in our lives to also do so with acceptance.

We point the finger at those of us who are open emotionally because we don't want to feel those feelings that we avoid in ourselves.  We lack understanding for our own feelings that have long been dismissed and replaced by logical thinking to maintain an image that fits our idea of acceptable expression.  Those of us who express more honestly are radical, haha I love it!

I have decided that I am going to practice an exercise for my own growth and invite you to join me for yours as well.  Each time I find myself in judgment of anything about another person I am going to check myself, find what it is in me that prompts that judgment.  Facebook is a great place to start for this.  I am going to read every post in my newsfeed even those that annoy me, especially those.  In my day to day life whomever my path brings me in contact with I will make a conscious choice to engage in some exchange, even if only a smile given or returned.  I want to try to be more active in recognizing the value in all others especially those whom I would normally avoid due to initial judgments.  I am going to focus on the things I like about a person so that the few things that I do not understand or agree with do not become a barrier in me recognizing the light in them.

   We are one, we all share the same feelings, fears and judgments that keep us seeing ourselves separate.  When we begin to accept and celebrate our uniqueness we begin to accept and celebrate others uniqueness and then our hearts grow open to the truth of our oneness.

Rory and Sean, you guys Seriously Rock!  I love you both always!
Thank you for being you and sharing that with wonderfulness with us all!




My Nephews and friends came by to see One Love and check on me knowing I wasn't feeling well.  We have the greatest conversations that reinforce my opinion that theirs is a powerful generation of souls.  What I love most about these boys is their open minds and hearts.  They share their emotions and feelings without fear with each other and me.










My nephew Sean was the subject of much ridicule in school for being so emotionally open and not fitting the mainstream idea of cool.  He was subjected to a rumor that followed him through high school that he was gay.  Even some of us thought he might possibly have been gay for being so open in sharing his many emotions growing up, boy did we all learn a thing or two about ourselves in forming judgments like that.  Today Sean has one of the hottest girlfriends who is an amazing young woman that loves him most for his ability to be honest and open emotionally.

Anthony you are the shiznet my nephew, I love it!  You Rock!  
Today the boys all joke about Sean and the rumors, but back then when he was still in school it didn't feel so good to be labeled and teased and shunned by his peers.  Being subjected to that for a few years he grew stronger for it and didn't let that change who he is, how he felt and his ability to share that with others.  In that he developed real and true friendships with these guys who I have grown to love as family.  This group of boys celebrates their individuality and in that has a strong bond.   I believe that there friendship is one that will long outlast most of the friendships of many of their peers who built their friendships on being cool, alike and mainstream.

My nephew Anthony came up with a new One Love hand gesture while sitting in One Love, new to me anyways it may be one used already.  Either way I love it and I love you young men for being so involved in this Journey and so enlightened to believe in this and be a part of it.  Thank you!

I love you all from a place of honest acceptance for myself and you.  Have a most blessed day my friends.

One Love
Lelania
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