Saturday, September 15, 2012

Mind, Body & Spirit~

As I approach two months on my new diet I have begun to really see the results of stepping my game up on getting my body to a healthy place.  I have also begun to recognize how powerful of an impact working on getting my body in shape has on the health of my mind and spirit.

Creating a trinity of health has amplified all three parts of me.  I have begun to challenge myself physically as much as I have been challenging myself emotionally over the past 9 months on this Journey of learning to love myself completely, unconditionally.  I am really understanding the whole unconditional self love part.  I can accept all of me as is with love and in doing so want to improve me because I believe in myself.

In the past when I lied to myself all those years, telling myself I loved me as the big woman I was I thought that acceptance of who I was physically meant accepting my fate as this unhealthy obese woman and wearing it well.  Now that I have learned what loving and accepting myself really means I see the difference.

Cleaning up my act all the way around now, creating a trinity of mind, body and spirit~

I have had friends tell me I need to love myself over the years, friends who I thought loved themselves because they always put themselves first, and in many instances did so at the expense of using others or hurting others.  I have also learned that for me that is not loving myself.  Now that I am really loving myself I can't act in an unkind way toward others and be loving myself because hurting others hurts me.

Finding the healthy balance of being able to love others and ourselves without hurting either is key.  Love shouldn't have to hurt, love is not pain the way we have been conditioned to believe it to have to be pain for one or the other of you or I.  Yeah, sure, sometimes feelings get hurt because we can't do what they want us to do for them, and a no is mistaken as not loving someone.  That is a cop out to not have to recognize when it is our own responsibility to make something happen for ourselves.  I know I used that cop out many a days in my own past and thought that those who were supposed to love me were hurting me, turning their back on me by moving ahead on their own paths.  It took some time to realize that them leaving me behind was the best thing they could have done for me at the time, I needed to walk my path not be carried by someone else in the name of love!

Realizing that I made the choice to begin making life happen for me
and stop letting life happen to me is the greatest awakening~
Loving My New Life, Loving Me!
Loving myself means to me being true to my souls intent to love all else also.  This past week I have really worked on loving my body by pushing myself physically, I totally cleaned out One Love from top to bottom, did an apple cider wash down because I am getting ready to take the next big leap of loving me and my health by quitting smoking cigarettes.  At the beginning of this journey I tried to quit and failed, some of you may remember.  I was bummed but realized I was putting to much on myself at once.

This time I have been preparing.  I have researched teas, herbs and foods that help with withdrawals.  I also have something else on my side this time... I love myself today whereas 9 months ago I wanted to love me.  I am also really pushing myself physically and if I am going to excel in this diet and exercise program I have developed I have to end the smoking.  My swimming and walking really needs me to stop smoking.

I lost 8 pounds in 5 days... YEAH!!!
34 lbs total, that's like 3 1/2 bags of potato's gone, yeah!!!
I weighed in yesterday at my Sisters.  I was hoping to have lost at least 6 pounds since I weighed in on Monday.  Tamar looked at me with her eyebrows raised and the biggest smile on her face when she told me I had lost 8 pounds, I couldn't even get off the scale before we were slapping high fives and both screaming... HELL YEAH!

I like to think of the weight I lose as bags of potato's. Carrying bags of potato's in the house for years while raising my kids I can still remember the weight of them as I walked in the house. I don't buy potato's anymore, nope I lose them, haha!  Celebrating losing 3 1/2 bags of potato's on my first 90 day challenge still with 40 days to go I am so pumped to crush the next 40 days and see just how many bags of potatoes I can drop!!!

 After being single for 5 years it felt so good to be flirted with the other day by a totally hot guy! I am still shy when it comes to that but coming into a place of confidence where I don't put my head down in doubt of the sincerity of a flirt because I didn't know how beautiful I am! No, I held my head high, sparkles in my eyes and said... Thank you!  The coolest part is that I had just got done going swimming with my niece and nephew, had my hair in a wet bun, no make up on and wearing my sweats, but I was glowing with pride for upping my laps and feeling whole, feeling great!

Excuse me while I get my brag on...
I'm too sexy for my muffin top!!  Woot, Woot!!
I ride in my car a little taller, get out at the gas station a little surer, walk up the stairs a little stronger and all those little's are so big for me!  This week in the grocery store when I walked past the handicap carts and grabbed a regular shopping cart my head was held high. It hurt to walk but not as much as having to sit in that chair.

I walked up to the check out feeling the pain and the gain with sweat on my brow but not embarrassed, I didn't care what no one thought like I did in that chair!

I know that today is one step closer to not sweating when I walk through the store, one step closer to being able to see the numbers on the scale all by myself, I love my Sister Tamar reading them off to me but can't wait to be able to read them myself!!!

Every minute of this new life I give thanks to my Creator for giving me a new path to follow, to myself for making the choice to accept and follow this new path and to my friends and family for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself!

I was so juiced after my weigh in that I made another video to share the good news, here ya go and thank you for your votes they are going to help me win this Challenge Showdown and make it to Hollywood for a cool makeover and some other fun stuff.

I want to say thank you to everyone out there for supporting me while i learn to love myself, I want to say to those out there who aren't to the place of loving you yet that I believe in you and send you all my love and positive thoughts so that you too can find your way on your own Journey to the place where you realize how powerful you are, how amazing you are, what a gift to the rest of us you are!

Have a most blessed day my friends, I love you from a place of feeling the best I have felt in my life~

One Love

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