Saturday, February 23, 2013

Ups & Downs ~ Centered in Love

Getting back to this process of educating myself for change I am finding many emotional ups and downs come with this emotionally.  Learning some things is so uncomfortable, some of it is so overwhelming and brings up feelings of a fear of powerless.  Other emotions follow the fear when I push forward and continue to take in knowledge, anger replaces fear; anger for what has been done and what I have turned the other cheek to for so long.  I remember years of hearing from people in my life about all this and mostly dismissing it as I couldn't really do anything about it anyways in my own mind.

The past month has been a roller coaster.  A familiar ride, familiar to the one I took in the beginning of this journey.  In the past I found comfort in centering in love.  I learned that allowing the feelings of fear and anger to process I reach for a place of love and in that I can move forward, find the silver lining in everything.

I am experiencing changes in all areas of my life right now and some days it is overwhelming, some days hurtful.  Other days it is enlightening and fulfilling on levels that surpass any pain or burden involved in continuing toward changing for the better and sharing that with all of you without fear stopping me from doing so.  I think I understand now why the majority of us do not speak out on things.  People are not always receptive to hearing an opinion that challenges their own place of comfort.  I have experienced this first hand going from one company in the health and wellness industry to another.  I remind myself that when I was first introduced to many truths in my own lifetime I was defensive and able to dismiss what I was presented with by making assumptions on the motives of the ones sharing it.  It was easier for me to tell myself that their motives were ill intended for me to ignore what I was being offered to consider in making my own informed decisions in life.

How can I feel anger or resentment for others who are experiencing the same feelings I felt I ask myself and in that remember that none of it is personal.  I was to look at it as us and them meaning those of us on one path and those of them on another path.  That thinking was causing separation in my mind and in my heart.  Thinking like that isn't helpful in anyway.  Confirming in myself that all our paths are valuable and ours to walk is powerful in remembering that we are all learning what we need to learn and experiencing what we need to experience in our own lives.  So I made the choice to stop seeing anyone in my life as them as we are all us.  That choice was a great choice, the opposite really made me my own worst enemy by viewing any other as an enemy.

I keep seeing the messages all around me, in music, in my morning meditation, in posts from others and so on that are reminding me to stand and face all things with love.  This is not the easiest thing to do all the time.  Facing everything in life with a true feeling of love being projected out to it all is hard to master, some days it just pisses me off, haha. I am just keeping it real, the ego is a bad motha and my ego is very used to having control over my feelings and actions.  I will say that the more I practice feeling and projecting love the easier it gets and the better I feel, the better the results I get in life.

Over the past few days I have been emotionally up and down, feeling anger for more things I've learned, feeling sadness and frustration.  Being an emotional eater I eat to comfort me when I am scared.  When I eat wrong my energy is horrible my pain increases and I need a toxic energy drink in my mind to keep pushing and get things done, old habits..  I woke up this morning and had to laugh at myself and see the value in this lesson.  I have the flu!  The irony is that I have been exposed up close and personal three times to the flu in the past few weeks and the first two times avoided getting it.  I was alkalizing my body, eating right, drinking tons of water.  I was proud of avoiding it.  Well I ate wrong for a couple of days and today bam, the flu is here.

I sat at my desk sniffing, sneezing, feeling the cough building in my lungs and feeling so weak.  I almost felt sorry for myself until I thought about the past few days, the emotions, the eating, the drinking a couple diet rockstars, all old bad habits.  I sat laughing at myself in between blowing my nose and heating up some creamy turmeric tea and making myself a nice water bottle of earth greens.  I know that when I am troubled emotionally two things happens, one my emotions being chaos give my body a foundation to build chaos and two eating to fill the space up where fear resides creates the added ingredients for a weak immune system.

So I sat here and thought about it, had a little talk with myself, looked in my mirror and reminded myself... Self center in love and you will find healing for all of this.  The need to eat to feel secure will cease to exist, process your emotions and heal them with love and get back on track and you will survive this flu in the best ways you can.

Self and me do well when we work together.  Together we decided to get centered in love today.  When the anger arises in me for the things I am learning about I need to remind myself to get centered in love.  I believe that if I can feel love and project that out in my thoughts and actions throughout all of this I do not need to create this roller coaster for myself, rather I can enjoy the ride remembering it is all valuable and needed in my continuing to change.

All of the people I know who have gotten this flu have been down for two to three weeks.  I decided I am going to see if I get all the way serious about my physical and emotional state if I can give up less time than that to this bug.  I have to say that my choice to stay centered in love today has helped me in a few ways already and the day has just begun.  I have been able to act with love and respond with love in my thoughts and actions and not spent time upset about anything that might have upset me.  I also feel a little bit of relief from the turmeric tea, water and earth greens.

I also decided that some rest is in order.  A lot has happened this month, much change all at once.  Losing my Father, my daughters birthday and missing her, changing companies and opening myself back up to choosing to seek out the truth in all things and decisions I make regarding them.  That is a lot so I am going to give my mind, body and spirit what they are asking for, some TLC.

I love you all from a place of being centered in love and reminding myself to be there through it all as much as possible with the belief that it will become the habit to replace all the ego based habits formed in my lifetime.  Have a blessed day.

Here is the Creamy Turmeric Tea recipe I found online, it taste pretty good and gave me some relief.  Worth checking out.

**Creamy Turmeric Tea**

Warm almond milk (heat on the stove not in the microwave)
1/2 tsp ground turmeric
1/2 tsp ground ginger or fresh minced ginger root
1 tsp honey (organic local honey is best)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
Dash of cayenne pepper

❦ Improve memory.
❦ Help fight the flu.
❦ Natural anti-inflammatory
❦ helps hippocampal brain cells grow (prevent and help slow the progression of Alzheimer's)
❦ Helps prevent cancer.

For more on the benefits of...
Cayenne Pepper
Ginger and Cayenne Pepper
Cayenne & Cinnamon

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