Thursday, March 14, 2013

A wake up call

The past week has been an emotional one for me.  I received a call from my Doctor at the end of last week letting me know that I needed to come back in Monday for more tests as my mammogram showed changes.  The scheduled me for first thing Monday morning.  I showed up bright and early with an optimistic attitude as they began the ultrasounds which confirmed what the mammogram saw, six new lumps; seven total.  Back in the end of 2010 I had one lump which has grown in size.  They scheduled me immediately for biopsies of the three they were the most concerned with and off we went to another part of the hospital for the procedures.

The staff was awesome, the procedure not so bad.  The waiting a for the results was a little stressful as I felt in limbo.  The idea of having breast cancer was mostly upsetting for me as I have plans to travel and work with my team over the six or more months.  Really looking forward to being able to travel the Country and get to know my Team and work with them personally I was scared that if I had breast cancer I would have to stay stationed in one place to deal with it all.  I decided that if that was my deck of cards I would play it with courage and face it with a positive attitude.

I told myself that whatever life has in store for me is another opportunity to rise to the occasion with strength and love.  When my Dr. called me and told me all the biopsies came back benign I was more than relieved.  Knowing of my plans to travel he assured me I would be fine for now, however I need to get checked every six months for a while to track any changes.  I assured him I will do that and had a little talk with myself about the importance of my health and continuing to educate myself on toxins and chemicals.

Super blessed to get the good news!
 I felt like I had a new grasp on life with this good news.  I also felt even stronger about my quit date of the 18th for quitting smoking.  I have been getting myself ready for this with lots of positive affirmations, every time I smoke I say to myself... "Self, I am so excited I get to quit on the 18th"... "how awesome I don't have to smoke anymore after the 18th" and so on.  This has been a battle for me, especially since starting this journey and learning more about treating myself better as I learn to love me.  Smoking is not an energy I want to partake in anymore.  There is so much fear associated with quitting however, and it honestly is scary for me.  It is like my security blanket.  Me and my cigarettes have had a thirty year romance.  I have honestly always enjoyed smoking.  However, now I despise it; yet keep doing it out of fear.

This is a huge fear for me, one I really want to overcome.  This breast cancer scare was good for me, it opened my eyes much to how serious this is for me.  I am on this path for organic/toxic free living and really want to overcome this part of my being bad to me with addictive chemicals.  I have been praying daily on this and asking for help, giving it up to my Creator and asking my Angels to guide me.

I know like myself, many out there battle with this addiction.  Cigarettes are so addictive mentally and physically even though they make claims they are not.  Anyone who smokes knows the truth about just how addictive nicotine is.  Those of you who have been following me on this journey know I have attempted to quit a couple of times and failed.  Both times I was determined to do this and failed.  The second time I gave up quickly because I started eating in place of smoking and was gaining weight.  My diet was so important to me during that time for a couple of reasons.  One I was finally walking again, gaining my independence back and the thought of gaining the weight back scared me.  Two my business depended on my weight loss and I decided that losing weight was more important than quitting smoking.

Recognizing my power to shine my own light and help me face this fear
is powerful.  I believe in myself more today than ever before. 
This round I am making my health my number one goal.  Quitting smoking is more important to me than losing weight.  How I treat my body is number one to me.  I am not going to focus on the scale much at all.  I  am making my focus "Loving Me & My Body".  I am viewing it all as one.  What I put into my body is what I will get out of my body.  I am also taking a very spiritual approach this time.  Trusting in my higher power to give me strength in all areas of my growth, mind body and spirit.  There is a light in me, a warmth to comfort me always available to me.  I remind myself of this daily now and want to let that light be my strength.

I am also going to be using aids to help me so that I don't go crazy, haha.  I bought the patch and e-cig and will be using my Essante Organics Power Pops for the hand to mouth sensation and to help me with my appetite.  They rock let me tell you.  They are all natural, no chemicals and 100% toxin free.  They naturally with herbs help with appetite and give you lots of good vitamins that should help with both my diet and quitting smoking.  I have also pulled out my list of herbs that help with quitting smoking and fully plan to use them all as well.

What I learned this week is a valuable lesson on how life can change in the blink of an eye. Had my tests came back saying I had cancer my life would have changed drastically.  I feel like I have been given a second chance and am determined to show my gratitude for that chance as well as determined to see if I can shrink these lumps with staying alkalized and chemical free.

I would love your support in prayers and positive thoughts.  I love you all from a place of gratitude for being able to continue on my path towards better health and helping others.  So many great things are happening and I am so blessed to be a part of it all.

One Love,

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