|I love you all so much, what an awesome life we are creating together!|
|Even the view on the drive up rocks the most!|
|Scorpion Marina on Lake Pleasant, Arizona|
|Lake Pleasant, Phoenix Arizona|
|Getting ready to rip and run in the sun!!!|
|Linda you have become so special to me, your heart|
is full of so much patience, love, understanding and
compassion for all life. I love you
Jane and I went shopping together again on Thursday and treated ourselves to Pedicures. We both took our time in the store and did what women do, we tried on suit after suit after suit, haha. I found the right one, black, had a skirt, with a cool cover up that would make me feel even more secure and even some khaki shorts and sandals. I even found a green dress for the Great Green event on Saturday. I was set clothes wise for the weekend and feeling great about a day on the lake.
|I got this!!!|
|Off we go...|
|Getting our Lake Pleasant on!|
I felt all the insecurities come back to the surface as I declined jumping in and sat watching everyone else swimming and felt so reminded that I still have so far to go. I tried to remind myself of how far I have come, however at that moment I felt very little comfort in that thought. I just wanted to swim, swimming is my thing, it is something I can do and do well. Here I was on the lake, the most beautiful lake I have ever seen with all these awesome friends and I couldn't do what I wanted to do most, jump in!
|Hahaaaaaaaaa I cannot even caption this picture without laughing out loud, love you all!|
As we rode back to the docks I had a silent talk with myself that went something like this... "Breath self, breath. You are half way there!" and I kept repeating those words in my mind as we moved over the water. I put my hand out and let the sprays from the side of the boat touch my fingers and I imagined that my dolphins were with me. You may remember when I first started working out again, I used to imagine that dolphins swam with me to keep me going when I got tired and wanted to quit. Just focusing on that vision of those dolphins cheering me on I was able to go further than I would have alone. On this day my dolphins were there to comfort me and let me know that I will swim in that lake one day soon, and I will climb back up on the boat like everyone else.
|Look Ma no hands, hahaaaa Jeff you rock, I love you bro!|
|Awesome place to go out to eat if you ever visit Phoenix, AZ|
|Today my fridge is only full of good for me stuff, my|
grocery bill is half of what it used to be when I bought
cheap junk foods, crazy how we believe it costs more
to go organic and healthy!
I am really proud to report that I am down to three cigarettes a day now, and that I have done so well on my lifestyle change of eating since being here and although I have not been able to weigh myself yet my clothes have gotten loser, even that bathing suit as I went swimming just the other day in the pool at the gym down the street. I have never felt more determined than I do today to continue regaining my health and my freedom back. I stocked up on Earth Greens, omegas, calcium and magnesium. Today my legs feel great, the bruises on my knees from the fall are almost gone and I have had a rockstar of a week business wise. Tuesday night I did my first corporate presentation and while I was a nervous wreck as soon as I stood up in front of everyone I was just me and did what I do... Kept it real!
I love you all from a place of knowing that sometimes we have to get angry, we have to feel the pain to truly grasp the contrast, to feel the desire so bad that it becomes us. That is where I am now, and I am not alone, I am surrounded by these amazing people who really care and want to see me succeed but accept me just as I am today. That rocks! Loving me has never felt so real.