Friday, August 9, 2013

Choosing to see the silver lining in every cloud~

Choose to see the silver lining in every cloud.  Life is a Journey, not a destination.  

My big sister recognized me, she remembered me.  I arrived about 20 minutes before her youngest son and her Dad (the man who raised her as if she were his own) so I had some time alone with her.  I walked in and saw her so tiny, so frail.  She always has been a petite woman, unlike my younger sister and I who took after our father and are bigger boned, taller, bigger feet, wider hips.

I sat beside her, told her I love her, was able to apologize for all the time that has passed.  I held her small fragile hands in mine and tears fell from both our eyes.  She smiled when I talked about our day on the beach at the wharf.  When her Dad and Son arrived her Dad asked her if she knew who I was and here answer was the clearest words she said during our visit.  She said... That's my sister!

Meeting my nephew for the first time was heart warming.  Watching him with her was so touching.  He was so gentle, so loving, so caring.  I spent a little over an hour with her, then needed to get back to my daughter in law to watch the grand babies while she went to school.  I will be visiting her as often as I can.  Seeing her while it was hard to see her so frail and barely able to talk was good.  I left feeling mixed emotions, part of me sad for her life coming to an end so young: she is only in her late 40s.  Part of me confused over all the loss around me and others in my life.  Part of me determined even more than before to heal my own liver.

I sat in the car with tears in my eyes and reminded myself that everything is as it should be and that Jesus is by her side through all this.  At that moment all of me remembered that we all agreed to be here, that each soul has a journey to walk, experiences to experiences and understanding gained through lessons learned.  I choose to see the lesson for me in this experience, the lesson of valuing my relationships, valuing my health, valuing my life.  In that I felt gratitude and once again I was thankful for what my big sister is able to teach me right now.

Loving my Grand Babies 

I love you so much Renee
I got back home to my grand babies who were still raving about the fruit pancakes I made them for breakfast..  Their faces always light up when I walk in as they all yell... "Nani".  We spent the morning together making pancakes with banana's and fresh cut up pineapple in them while listening to Yolanda Adams and others artist on my Giving Praise music list.   They thought it was the coolest morning, loved my music and wanted to know if we could do it again tomorrow morning which is now today.  They are all still asleep as I write sitting outside watching another sunrise.

Organic Fruit Pancakes
I woke up with hope in my heart, I can feel God's presence all around me, the morning wind blowing through my hair is comforting, the clouds in the sky are illuminated with a brilliant silver lining from the sun beneath them.  I am reminded that there is always a silver lining, that God is Good all the time.  Even in times of loss, times of suffering, times where there is much to fear, challenges to overcome.

The love of God heals and comforts us through all of it.  I remember times in the past where I would have chosen to wallow in the sadness of it all.  That choice left me feeling overwhelmed by life, wanting to give up.  Today I know that how I feel is a choice and today I know the power of love.
The bad things that happen in our lives can do one of two things to us depending on how we look at life.  We can choose to look at the bad and say... "It is all bad!" or we can choose to look at the bad and say... "Okay, what good can come of this bad!" and find the good in it.  Even in the worst of situations there is something good in it, something good to come from it if we only choose to see it that way.

My Grand Babies are so excited about the healthy foods they get to help
me shop for, help me cook.  Involving them makes it fun and everyone
is happy, even the pancakes are happy, haha
It really is that simple I have learned.  I admit that in the beginning it does not feel so simple, when we first decide to change the way we view life there is much to overcome, old thought patterns, old beliefs, old habits take time to overcome.  However, it really does begin with the choice to change the way we look at life.  It starts by recognizing our thoughts, our feelings and choosing a better thought.  Over time we see the good in it all more effortlessly as we learn that choosing to see the good brings good into our lives, choosing to see only the bad just brings more bad.

It's a new day, a beautiful day.
I got my new Hurom slow juicer in the mail yesterday.  UPS pulled up and I was so excited to see it arrive.  I am waiting on my other supplies and today Kimra and I are going over my grocery and menu lists she put together for me.  We are both bummed that I cannot be there with her right now but have decided not to let that get in our way and find the good in it all. We are going to be doing Google Hangouts every day so that she can still be support to me in this new vegan diet plan to help heal my liver and anemia.  I am very blessed to have her in my life and so grateful for her energy and excitement in helping me.  She truly breaths life into me daily.

I love you all from a place of new hopes, new dreams.  A place of choosing to see the good in it all.  A place of excitement to do the work and make the changes needed in my life to help myself and others in my life who need me.

One Love,

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