Saturday, October 19, 2013

Who am I really? What do I really want? What is really valuable?



I am learning so much about what it means to love myself.  One of the biggest changes in life is my ability to think and act from my highest self without a fear of what that looks like externally.  Today my closest, most trusted counsel being God and my higher self I am no longer reliant on external approval and that allows me to see the big picture when challenges are presented to me.  I can now see that while this feels uneasy, even hurts it is okay.  I can breath and take pause to ask my highest self, to sit in prayer and take guidance from God.  It is then that I see more clearly what opportunities for growth I have been gifted rather than feel attacked by burdens.  That really rocks.

We all have challenges in our lives and it is typical of us to only see the benefits of these challenges in hindsight.  Looking back over our lives, imagine if with each challenge you faced if you had seen before hand what benefits were available to you, how would you have acted then? Would you have had to repeat the same bad choices again and again until you finally got it, finally grew and changed!

We accept so much in life that does not serve us, we react in ways that do not serve us.  We view challenges as burdens, allow our relationships with ourselves to be compromised because of our misconception of other relationships in our lives.  We have all had past relationships that ended what we thought was badly, and even now might not see how that served us if we are carrying the pain still of that relationship ending.  I propose a new way to look at it, a way that has helped me greatly to understand not only how past relationships served me but helped me even more to gain understanding of current relationships and allow myself to be proactive even in, especially in the challenging ones.

I have gained an understanding that it is those who we have the most discourse with in our lives who are our best soul friends.  It is those souls that we made an agreement with before coming to live here on Earth School and have this Human Experience.  We made a promise to each other to play out roles in each others lives for our souls growth.  It really is in the challenging relationships that we grow the most if we allow ourselves to.  I have learned that not all relationships are meant to last, we only think they are when we live needing external things to complete us, we use relationships to avoid the most important relationship, the relationship we have with ourselves.  I can look back, even recently and see clearly how it was in the ending of a relationship or relationships that I was pushed to look within for my strength, courage, self worth.

Seeing that truth is helping me today in the most amazing ways, I can see now when it is happening that it is okay and not personal, it is not about me, but rather for me.  Meaning that the end of a relationship is part of my growth, helps me to reach for my highest self and in doing so I have realized just how much I am comfortable with me today, loving me enough to be true to me and not waste precious time questioning myself and repeating lessons, I trust my inner self today more than I ever have and even more so I love those whom I have felt pain with, with a new understanding of the role they have played in my life and how valuable they were in helping me to learn and grow.

When we understand that it is those in our lives we have felt the most pain with who are those who've helped us to grow the most it is no longer a matter of forgiveness but rather a matter of gratitude for the role they played in our life. A promised made before we even came here to be these lessons to each other, in that realization we have no enemies, only best soul friends. ~ JoJo Williams


When things are really intense and we don't have much time to think, if we stop and listen to our unconscious, allow your unconscious to break through your ego, ask yourself... Who am I really? What do I really want? What is really valuable?  We find that these deep feelings, these deep emotions that will lead us away from actions that do not serve us.  Not allowing our higher self to be dragged down by our ego that says this is bad, this is wrong, I must act on this, is key.  See things for the opportunities they are and allow your mature self to see what is really going on and stay tuned into what matters most, what results you want, how you want to feel about yourself when all is said and done, what do you want to learn, what is available to learn in this situation.  Every challenging situation in our lives offers us great opportunity for growth, allow yourself to grow by acting rather than reacting.  Offer yourself inner trust.  Tap into yourself for a new dream, a new life, a new way and see that this too shall pass.

I went very deep within myself yesterday and more so last night in a Reiki session with Kimra Luna who worked on me, my energies and took me on a most surprising and uplifting journey during our session.  The release I felt was not expected and felt like freedom, shackles replaced by pure light and love is the best way to describe it.  I didn't know what to expect this being my first Reiki session and really had no expectations at all.  I laid down with the intent to just allow.  The experience was one that filled me with such positive energy and confirmed for me that I am on the right path today.  Her guides had very valuable messages for me and I learned even more about myself that will serve me more on this journey to not only love myself but help others to learn to do the same to.  It was confirmed in me that my voice is my gift and to use it from love and all will unfold as agreed upon when I agreed to come here and fulfill my life purpose.  That really rocked.

I love you all from a place of really loving this loving myself thing and excitement for the days ahead as I passed some big self growth tests recently, have realized the difference self control makes, not to be confused with control, hahaaaa that is the misconception, it is a place of confidence that self control is exercised on a level that we need no justifications or excuses for our actions afterward.

One Love,
Lelania
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