Friday, December 13, 2013

This just in - Complaining is no longer popular!

If you are anything like the majority of the population you have to get sick and tired of being sick and tried before you are moved to do something about it.  But does it really have to be that way?  No it does not, in fact doing something about it is as simple as no longer giving it your attention.  A change in focus is all that is needed to stop living life complaining and begin living a life with less to complain about.

If you are tired of you life status quo here are some steps you can take to create a new life beginning now.

No one besides you is responsible for how your life has turned out.  And no one besides YOU can change it!

1. Stop Complaining!

If you find yourself picking up the phone to call your a friend and complain about this or that, stop yourself and call your friend to share something you are grateful for.  Any time you catch yourself complaining stop yourself and ask yourself this question... Is this worth my attention and if the answer is yes the next question should be "what can I do to change this situation".  Remember energy goes where attention flows, if you complain a lot you will always have a lot to complain about!  If you have a legitimate complaint than complain only to the person who can address your complaint, don't spend your energy complaining to others about it if they cannot solve your problem.  Go to the source and deal with it, if you are having trouble doing that than maybe your complaint is not as legitimate as you are telling yourself and you might want to remember that when you point the finger at someone else, three more are pointing back at you!

2. Stop gossiping!

Gossiping is a passive aggressive way of complaining.  It is a from of projection.  Unhappy people waste time pointing out what's wrong with other people.  Remember the old saying "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"  The same applies to what you listen to.  When that friend calls you who likes to sit on the phone all day talking about others to make themselves feel better, be a real friend and tell them you aren't interested in hearing that and ask them how their life is going.  They might have trouble answering that without pointing out how someone else is effecting their life, that is when you get to be a really good friend and share with them how your choice to take responsibility for what get out of life by no longer complaining and gossiping has changed your life in the best ways.  When someone says to me... You'll never believe what ______ told me, but you didn't hear it from me!  I stop them right there and say... Do ______ a favor and keep their secret, they trusted you with it and I don't need to know it!

3. Surround yourself with positive people!
Gravitate towards people who lift you up, people who talk about ideas rather than people.  You will find that being around enlightened people creates enlightenment in you and attracts to you more enlightened people.   We are the company we keep.  Why surround ourselves with the complainers and gossipers in life and have to fight daily battles of trying to stay positive focused when we can surround ourselves with those who support our positive outlook on life and give us more to feel positive about.

4. Create a happy space and Go There!

If you find yourself back sliding into that complaining state of mind it is great to have a routine to get you out of that space.  For me it is a going and reading a book, taking time out for meditation, if I am really feeling bad and cannot get there I will use one of my favorite guided meditations, or if I am out and about and do not have my indoor escape I simply close my eyes and lifting my head in prayer as I give my troubles to my Creator to deal with.  Once you are no longer feeling bad you can see more clearly the situation and allow the feelings to process and serve you rather than slow you down.

5. Stop avoiding your feelings.

There are no such thing as bad emotions.  All emotions serve us in some way.  We have been so conditioned in life to see everything as a result of external factors and waste most our lives blaming things that happen on circumstance, others, our government, or accept that things are just the way we are and believe it is all out of our hands.  The truth is that we are lazy, we do not think for ourselves most of the time and we do not take responsibility for what happens in our lives.  Even more so we take no responsibility for how we react to what happens in our lives.  Change your thinking about those emotions that do not feel good, recognize that they are there to serve you.  We are conditioned to find things to bury our feelings and that is why we are such an addictive society.  Embrace your emotions and process them.  Say out loud... Anger you are welcome here!  Now be the observer and say... Okay so this is what anger feels like!  Now break it down, why do I feel angry, what is really going on here, how can I change this situation.  Now you have the power to choose a new emotion.  You are the coach of your team and your emotions are your players.  You choose who to play and who to bench in the game of life.  Start coaching a winning team!

6. Be impeccable with your word.

Speak only with the intent to do good.  Good for you and good for others.  Our words are powerful, they carry tones that raise or lower our vibration.  Our words can do good and they can do harm to both us and others.  Make the conscience choice to only speak with the intent to do good.  Take words like "hate" out of your vocabulary.  Even using that word to describe something silly like... "I hate mushrooms" is careless.  Just saying the H-Word has an impact on your emotional state.  Do you really hate mushrooms, has one attacked you in the past? Were you robbed at gun point by a portobello? Did a mushroom cheat on you with a parsnip?  Do you see where I am going with this, if you want to exaggerate your emotions choose only to exaggerate the loving ones that spread happiness and carry a positive tone.  Be a conscious speaker, mean what you say and say what you mean with love.

Today is a great day to change your point of view, I promise you that if you do your view will change too.

I love you all from a place of gratitude for all the amazingly positive souls in my life today.  Recognizing that all the problems I had in life were not the problem, I was, was the greatest awakening ever!

One Love,

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