Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Are you motivated away from pain or motivated toward pleasure?

Doing My Soul Work Rocks!
Some of us were conditioned to live in survival mode at a young age, I know I was.  We often continue to live in that state of being even when the necessity no longer exist, I know I have for most of my life.  When we live in a state of survival mode our entire lives are effected, our choices are impacted by that state of being, justifications for our actions are easy to accept.

When we evolve our state of being to one of contentment and ease we become a survivor, no longer the victim.  Things happen to us, things happened to me and speaking from my own experience I can say that those things shaped a foundation that told me to survive by any means necessary.  The normal rules did not apply to me most of the time.  I was always a right is right and wrong is wrong type of person but often decided what was right and what was wrong depending on the situation and the necessity to survive.

Excited about every moment of life today!
This was my way of living, and I found myself in times where the need for survival was not strong enough, recreating it with drama, chaos and downward spirals to feel alive again, to once again be motivated to fix it all.  I have lived my life motivated away from pain.  So the further I got from the tough parts the less motivated I became.  This is a cycle that does not allow one to go far in life.  While I have overcome great obstacles in my life and proven to be quite talented at rebuilding again and again I proved to be equally talented at tearing it all down so as to get back to that place where I was most motivated and felt alive again, a place where hope lived.  Hope for a more pleasurable life, one of ease and joy.  However, my lack of motivation in the good times to forge forward always took me back to step one!

Learning our motivating factors is a powerful tool in moving forward in life.  Through work with my success coach I have learned much about my own motivators and just the realization of what motivates me has opened up doors to change what motivates me.  I am at a place in my life today where I have never been, in the past I would have tore it all down before reaching this level in my life.  I find myself in unfamiliar territory often and through sheer determination to change and grow, to do it the right way this time I familiarize myself with this new way of accomplishing my goals, creating a new me.


Being back in my home town, networking with life long friends has lit me up, I am truly enjoying this summer already and realize how much I love this beautiful oasis that is Santa Cruz, CA.  Awesome Lunch at The Crows Nest with the most amazing ladies!

Whatever motivates you, if you discover what it is and begin there you can use that to achieve more, you can learn to adapt new motivators.  Someone who is on the far end of the scale and motivated toward pleasure can be just as self destructive as someone like myself who was only motivated away from pain.  In that state of being you may find yourself only seeking out pleasure in life and avoiding the parts that are painful, a balance is key.  We need to face the parts that hurt so we can overcome them, overcome ourselves.  A lack of commitment can result from someone who is only motivated by pleasure and this can surface in avoiding the parts of life that do not feel pleasurable all the time.

Girl Pedicure Day Rocked!  Treating ourselves is fun and we all deserve to enjoy being better to ourselves!

My sister hugging my grandson who wanted to go to Santa Cruz
for the summer with us, he will be visiting soon.
Learning how to balance both motivators is so powerful in accomplishing what you want in life.  For me at this stage of the game I am aware of my motivations and even more aware of my motives.  Checking our motives in every thought and action is doing our soul work on a high level.  For it is truly our intent that Karma pays attention to most.  Our core intent is what beckons to the Universe and attracts back to us what we are really asking for, our actions are just what we do outwardly and often for the sake of appearance.

Last night I lay in bed with my sister looking across the bed at her closet doors of mirrors I saw myself, laying on my side, a position that would not have been my favorite or thought the most flattering in the past.  I smiled and said out loud... I look beautiful just the way I am, I don't look  bad like I used to think I did.  My sister looked at me and said with her eyes sparkling letting me know here words were coming from her heart... You are so beautiful Jo, you always have been and I want you to know I have never pushed you to lose weight because I thought anything else, I just want you to be healthy, mobile and to live a long time with me because I can't bear the thought of losing you.  We hugged.

♥ LOVE ♥
This morning we were discussing motivating factors in our lives and after sharing with her my discovery of my motivation away from pain she shared that she plays that out in her diet, a perpetual cycle of being on a diet and getting so close to goal, only to gain it back and start over again.  We discussed that, a huge realization of how it is all about self punishment, first she deprives herself of the foods she wants, then when close to her ideal in her own mind weight she punishes herself with foods that do not serve her goals.  She shared with me that she is coming into a place where she is beginning to learn to love herself as is, she said to herself... If I am bigger I just need to buy clothes that fit.  Now if you know my sister she is drop dead gorgeous and someone like me would in the past never understand her negative body image as she has always been built in societies image of beautiful.

I brought my garden with me, so excited to eat my first home grown
tomatoes and peppers, My sister and I will be making salsa!
I am vacationing in Santa Cruz all summer and we have named this Sister Summer.  We have made a pact to strengthen our bond with ourselves through our bond with each other, to learn to see ourselves from each other eyes, while also broadening our horizons together.  The past couple weeks here have been simply amazing and fulfilling on a level I have not experienced in past visits.  So exciting that we are both at this place in life today of self growth and higher purpose.


These are just some examples of how our motivating factors effect our lives.  When we decide to, we can choose what to be motivated by.  Today I choose to be motivated by self love and love for all, being of service to the greater good and overcoming the parts of myself that no longer serve me.

I love you all from a place of such excitement for where I am today, and such gratitude for being able to share this journey with you.  You too deserve to feel all the joy life has to offer, we are here to live, not simply survive.

One Love,
Lelania




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