Friday, July 17, 2015

Check your pulse

Driving through the mountains some days ago, maybe a month or so back as the wind blew through my open windows it happened, the disc switched tracks.  Have you ever had a CD that you have listened to hundreds of times and never heard that one song on it until you heard it?  If you are anything like me, you have your favorite songs on every CD you own and skip to the ones you want to hear.

This was one of those days that I was just chill. I was all the way in the zone of driving through the mountains as John Mayer played and the trees swayed.  It was a day like any other day really, except for at that moment I was relaxed, more relaxed than normal.  I was content, life is good and I was taking a drive after a morning of calls and high activity in my business life. So I turned up the music and just enjoyed the ride.  

No thoughts, just being, just an appreciation for the harmony of life surrounding me, moving, swaying with me, then the interruption occured as the disc switched to track 11 and a song began to sing that I had not heard or if I had I never noticed it, missed the meaning, never felt the message it sang to me on this day.

♫ Check your pulse it's proof that you're not listening to ♫
The call your life's been issuing you
The rhythm of a line of idle days 
Scared of a world outside you should go explore
Pull all the shades and wander the great indoors
♫ The great indoors ♫

It was one of those moments, you know the ones that have a deeper meaning for you, the ones where you are being spoken to.  The music played on...

♫ Though lately I can't blame you ♫
I have seen the world
And sometimes wish your room had room for two 
So go unlock the door
And find what you are here for
Leave the great indoors
♫ Please leave the great indoors ♫

I reached the turn into my driveway, the song ending, I started it over, sat in my driveway listening again.  Remember to meditate I said to myself confirming that the message was valued and the next couple of days that is what I did, I started my day with meditation, even took a break around lunch to take some moments of silence in the comfort of the couch in my dining/meditation room surrounded by plants with both doors open on opposite sides of the room as the wind swirled through cooling my sun touched face.  It felt good, I was getting back in touch, filling my grail back up, connecting with the vast beautiful inner world of infinite possibilities and unconditional love and then I stopped.  A busy day must have happened, something of great significance I am sure (insert sarcastic smile).  

That was one of my first reminders.  Last night was a whirlwind of joy.  Having released so much pent up in me for far too long was the greatest feeling.  Receiving an abundance of love and support from friends and family who read yesterdays entry filled me up with confirmations of why I used to share so openly so regularly.  I was also faced with some questions, wondering why, why had I stopped?  Why do any of us stop?  Stop being true to our souls callings, stop taking the time to brighten our world and in turn making the world a brighter place for others.  

Victoria sent me and Amanda a great video this morning of an amazing woman who is highly successful, billion dollar business successful.  One of her mantras is...Never compromise who you are personally for who you wish to be professionally! To which Amanda and I replied... Yes!! 

I think what happens sometimes is that we fall into roles of expectation.  We play out so many roles in our lives.  Somewhere along the way there was an imprint of what a new role should look like, a role we are casting for, be it that new job, a new relationship with someone we really like, fitting in with a new social circle and so on.  Maybe in our attempts to take on this new role we become a new character of sorts, believing deep down that we are not worthy simply as ourselves, we need to be more, be more like someone else.  That deep down belief that we are not good enough.

When the truth is that we are more than good enough, in fact we are perfect for what whatever we want as long as we show up as authentic us.  Sometimes we need that reminder, I know I needed that reminder in the form of several bops upside the head lately haha.  And I want to share that openly today with you, yes you!  There is someone out there who is going to feel this deeply, how do I know this? Because its how this whole thing is set up, this thing called life, the roles we play individually can leave us feeling alone in our feelings, alone in our fears.  We might not know or remember that there are so many others out there who feel just like we do and just need someone to give them permission to express it, to release it or maybe just some form of confirmation of feelings validated.  This is my message and it is a gift given to you who feels like I feel.

You see I forgot some time ago the value of showing up as myself in all I do, especially in the things I do with myself, for myself.  That's where it all comes from after all, from within.  I had to remember that I bring something very unique to the tables I sit at.  I bring something very valuable when I show up authentically as myself.  And so do you.  I resonate at such a high vibration of love and above when I show up authentic in all I think, say and do and guess what, so do you!

What I mean by authentic me, authentic you, is that the truth of us all is that we come from love, we are love.  When we are in sync with our true selves we resonate at love, we create love all around us. We awaken love in others.  When we give ourselves permission to be our authentic, soul driven, love giving selves we no longer feel the need to judge ourselves and others, our lives change immensely when we release the need to judge.  

That need to judge others, is really only a need to protect ourselves from seeing ourselves or from being seen by others as ourselves.  Because deep down we believe ourselves not worthy, anything to avoid seeing ourselves, we mistake judgement and comparisons as a solution to these feelings of inadequacy.  When we point out someone elses flaws/mistakes/shortcomings we are telling ourselves we are better than them in some way, relieving ourselves or our "lack of" self beliefs temporarily... I can't be that bad, look at so and so, at least I don't do that, dress like that, say that, I would never do that, or that... I would never!

When we remember the truth of who we are, embrace ourselves as worthy, uniquely, perfectly imperfect all of a sudden we have no need to judge others.  We shift from judging the outer states of them to seeing deeply the inner goings ons.  We can see clearly when someone is overcompensating for a lack of mindset, or when someone is in deep need of validation.  We no longer feel threatened by that when we understand the pain that drives it and in that moment of realization we can simply think to ourselves... I see that you are in pain, I just want you to know that I understand and I love you just the way you are.  

Simply stating this internally sends out a energetic vibe to the other that eases something in them.  Don't believe me? Try it!  Also, with the thought follows new words and new actions on your part that create more comfort, more ease, more acceptance.  By accepting yourself you become accepting of others, by becoming accepting of yourself and others you help them to become accepting of themselves and when they begin to accept themselves in your presence the seed of acceptance has been planted and it too will grow.

It all begins with you however, your total acceptance of yourself, your ability to go within and look at the true you, having the courage to do so despite your fears of what you might find based on a story you have told yourself about your self worth, that courage will carry you to the most beautiful place, to the truth of you.  When you see you for the first time, it is the most enlightening, euphoric, revealing experience ever.  

I woke up this morning so well rested, I slept so deeply last night.  I don't remember dreaming, I woke with the same joy that I drifted off to sleep with.  That was all due to a day of showing up as authentic me.  Allowing myself to present myself in the pages of this blog without fear of what others might think, without fear of judgement.  Does that mean that no one out there judged me? No, it does not.  Maybe someone did and that rocks too.  Our judgements are seeds planted too, weather we know it or not, they are also indications that we are not being true to ourselves, not allowing our true expression to flow, when we do this we grow comfortable with the true expression of others too.  I will likely never know if I was judged, what I did learn is this...  

The post that poured from my heart yesterday as my tears rolled down my face rendered a warm reception from like minded souls who needed to read it as much as I needed to write it and I was reminded of something I had forgotten. So thank you to those of you who reached out to me to share what it meant to you, you helped me greatly in doing so. You helped me to remember why I share all this.  I believe that sharing is caring.  Caring for myself and the world.  I believe more transparency in this world could heal this world.  

I was scared when this journey began to write about it.  I did it anyways.  My friends and family needed to know how I was and I needed to be separate from them to do what I set out to do.  I also made a promise to myself to identify my fears and to face them, one of those was admitting out loud I was screwed up, didn't have it all together, had come to the end of my rope and there was only two directions for me to go at that point in my life, up or down.  I was as low as I could get so down for me would have been deep down, six feet down.  I chose up!  I started sharing for these reasons initially and my reasons for sharing grew as the results of sharing started to manifest into self love for myself and love for you, all of you.

Today I love you all from a place of celebrating us, uniquely beautiful us.  I encourage you to shine, to sing out loud, to dance like no one is watching, to be okay with how you feel and to express your feelings from love without expectation of return from others allowing them to have their feelings and expressions of them too.  I celebrate you!

One Love, 

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