Monday, September 14, 2015

Road rage, rosemary and sage ~ February 19th, 2012

Three ingredients give way to the recipe for a new page of lessons for me on this amazing journey.  

An awakening, 24 hours of my life teaches me more than a life time of ignored lessons.  At the beginning of the turn of our earth in my full circle day I noticed the blossoms on the Cherry Blossom Trees along the highway while enjoying a relaxing drive with my dear friend Colleen who calmed my soul as we embarked on our journey all along anticipating my destination and beginning Stella Day I didn't even remember the beauty and significance of the Cherry Blossoms till my ride home 24 hours later this morning.

During my pregnancy with Stella I had an unusual attraction to the Cherry Blossom Tree, I craved Cherries my entire pregnancy and found comfort in every image of the tree I saw.  Before her I never really noticed the Tree and it certainly had no significance to me, Stella is the birth of the Cherry Blossom Tree for me.

After my heart warming day with my daughter I enjoyed the comfort and happiness of a night in the home of a friend who is so many things to me, she has grown to be my spiritual guide, my center for days when I need an ear to just hear and now my mentor in more ways than I can ever properly thank her for.  Diane is a woman of the earth, she I believe has lived many lives as she is a wise and serene old soul.  She has a comfort inside herself that surpasses any I have encountered.  No self doubt, no need to fill her basket with temporary ingredients, no rush to accomplish goals, just organized thought and contentment with what is.

Look Closely, God is in everything we see!

We sat in her jungle of a home, she is what most green thumbs would envy, her love for her plants and animals is one a mother has for her child.  She loves all plants and I believe has just about every species of plant you can grow indoors.  Her craft for art spills over into her ability to love and nurture all things living around her.  Her Orchids are quite breath taking and caught my attention the entire visit with a spirit all their own.

Beauty is all around us, all we have to do is open our eyes!

 A woman's best friend!

Her animals are characters all their own as well, her dog who gave us both quite the laugh last night snores like a drunken man, he loves his momma and he is a gentle soul who knows more than we do on any given day.

Garfield Who
Her cat well I am lucky to have met her cat normally new people don't even get a glimpse of the bright orange creature who loves only her and is quite content never engaging with the world outside of this home that bursts with love from ceiling to floor wall to wall. I think next time I might be so lucky to scratch that furry chin, we shall see.

Thank you Great Spirit of life
I appreciate every story you share
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Yesterday after my visit with my Daughter ended and my friend took me out to raise my spirits from the departure of my little star we stopped at the local Circle K and I was met with a discovery of nature that had me in as much awe as did her Orchids.  A tree, not just any tree.  A tree that stood in the middle of a strip mall, a tree with a hollow center.  I had forgotten my camera but did not forget this tree as I slept harder than I have in many moons, dreaming wildly, dreams of my life, my past pains, my ailments, my fears all escaped me last night and were caught in the many dream catchers about her room that smelt of lavender, I felt bad when she offered me her room and happily took the couch I know now I needed that room for one night.  That tree and me share something now.  I somehow in that room released so much pain inside of me, I woke feeling hollow inside, not hollow empty, no this was a hollow full feeling of release.  Release of many things I have carried for a life time.  I told Diane over coffee of my dreams in amazement of them as I have not dreamt in some time and my nightmares that used to wake me in a sweat screaming and crying many a nights had never flowed out of me the way they did in this room full of her love, surrounded by her art work, brilliant colors of purple and lavender, scents of the earth and plants.  I hadn't even noticed the many dream catchers till she pointed them out over coffee, great coffee by the way.

You saw right through me, now I see you~
Where there was pain There is now Light~
I love you!
I remembered this tree this morning and asked Diane if we could visit the Tree again so I could take some pictures.  She happily took me to the Tree, as I stood before it and began to turn on my camera before I took my first shot I had to ask permission and pay tribute to this amazing Tree.

Something inside of me instinctively knew to ask, and to graciously thank the Tree for allowing me to share it with the world as I captured it's essence on film I spoke to this amazement of nature and gave thanks for the release of my nightmares the night before now knowing there was a connection somehow.  I realized while talking to this tree how beautiful it was, while it was gutted and hollow it was full of stories, fruitful with leaves and bursting with determined energy to live despite the concrete world around it.  I though of us all, how we are stuck in the concrete around us, cement laid by our own doing that keeps our inner life force surrounded with the makings of man, materialistic possessions, portfolios, credit scores, etc..  All forms of cement we lay around us day after day forgetting the beauty inside of us that needs love and tenderness, needs to be seen.  I also thought of the inner workings of this Tree.  Not so unlike our own inner workings.  We walk through life carrying many burdens on our heart, those burdens eat away at our Souls, surround our Spirits with cement and trap them inside of us till we forget they are there and condition ourselves to become bodies searching for a Soul rather than Souls living in a body.  Though this Tree is gutted the light shines through it's openings to the center and breathes life.  We too can release the pain inside of us by opening up and letting the light shine in, then the light within can shine out and we can begin to heal and start really living, break down the concrete built around us, live freely.

Making our way back to One Love
After enjoying a good breakfast we hit the freeway, funny name for the road we drive along every day, is it really free? I mean really what price do we pay in life every day of our life as we drive along the endless miles of concrete laid before us to take us to our constantly pending destinations in life.  I spent most of my life with a good dose of road rage active in my daily routine of travel  I realized when my oldest son was about 4 or 5 just how much my road rage was out of control.  My child accustomed to my daily frustration with traffic thinking it normal to yell at others on the road noticed we had been cut off by a driver along side of us and doing what he saw me do a hundred times he flipped them off and yelled "Gas pedal is on the right ass hole" I gasped as I realized that was my favorite thing to yell at all the people that MADE ME MAD on the road daily.  Recognizing that my little sponge of a child was developing my bad habits I decided I had better change my ways and quick while driving.  I decided I needed to wake up to my attitude on the road and instead of cursing my neighbor on the road started saying silently in my mind to those who cut me off or drove to slow in MY LANE three simple words..  "I love you"  One day I said them aloud without realizing it and my Son said "I love you too Mommy"  I looked at him and laughed aloud, he laughed with me and we shared a moment I will never forget.  My first born is my heart, he is also my biggest reminder of myself, over the years many days on the road have been spent in thought of him, I love you baby, always have and always will.

Hurry, hurry so you can buy that house on the hill
Now where was I? Oh yes, ROAD RAGE.  While I learned that the other drivers on the road DO NOT MAKE ME MAD, I MAKE ME MAD from my little exercise of expressing love rather than hate toward complete strangers who are just trying to get to their destination as was I.  As I sat next to Diane who drove the entire drive at an even 70mph without cruise control.  I noticed how unaffected she was by the changing traffic conditions along the way, never upset by the driver in front of her who was slower she simply changed lanes, politely moved aside for the car coming up faster from behind and never lost a beat when someone cut us off or got to close to OUR LANE.  The same contentment of life she displayed in her warm home traveled with her on the freeway and she made it feel free.  While the cars around us rushed to get to their destination  as I did day after day my whole life thinking I had to get there, had to "get er done" and had to had to had to....  Diane sat in peace and shared some great music with me from her collection of burnt cd's on her visor.  The first song she played was "Cherokee People" by Paul Revere and the Raiders, great song.  As she pushed play she looked at me and giggled saying let's see if you're old enough to remember this song, I replied with a playful "Please" as a song I didn't remember began to play, humbled I laughed and she laughed with me, that happens a lot with her and I, oh how I love my spiritual guide.  As I listened to the words intent to hear them all now realizing I had never heard this great song and wondering how that was, I thought I knew all the great songs I gazed off in the distance and enjoyed being the passenger and having the liberty to take in the view.

Don't let life drive right by you 

I have driven this route a thousand plus times and just now realized how much of it I had never before seen.  It occurred to me I have traveled roads my whole life missing all that lay beyond the concrete path I followed to my destination, a destination so important that I forgot about my final destination.  My final destination, what is that? What it is depends on how I travel there.  I know that today, literally I know that TODAY!  I didn't know it every day before this day.

As we made our way through the mountains and passed so many trees I saw more Cherry Blossom Trees, I saw beautiful rolling hills, I saw the nature that lay just beyond the concrete path we traveled and realized something.  I have been in hurry my whole life to get to places I don't even remember today.  I have missed all the beauty around me and I have lived thinking I was achieving goals to get me to a place in life that I would find happiness while happiness was right beneath the concrete I traveled on, the earth, the trees, the Cherry Blossoms.
Life in the slow lane, a life traveled better by far

The happiness I find in these splendors of nature is more fulfilling than any brand new car ever was, than any impressive 3 story condo was, than any flat screen TV made me feel.  All the things I hurried to be able to gain are not with me today, I do not miss them but I do miss all that I didn't see that was all around me every day of a life I lived in to much of a hurry to see it.  I felt regret for passing that need to get to no where on to my children who now travel the road in a hurry to get to their destination as well.

The light at the end of the Tunnel is at the Beginning 

I lived my life in a tunnel, driving along a road with so much beauty to occupy my trip yet my tunnel vision kept me suspended in darkness always seeking the light at the end of the tunnel.  I chose to live that way, all I had to do was get in the passenger seat and let go, let the other driver drive.  I never have been a good passenger, no my control issues left me paying attention to the road, my trust issues left me unable to relax and let it be while I saw all there was to see.  I won't let that happen to the rest of my life, no Diane and her amazing energy gave me sight, thank you Diane you are alright!

Colleen, Diane, My Baby Daddies and Stella thank you for an amazing 24 hours of my life that taught me a life time of lessons, today I sit humbled at what can be accomplished in one turn of our mother earth, I stare in amazement at the life around me, the world we work so hard to own a piece of not recognizing we cannot own earth not even a little piece of it.
When life gets to much to bare, pick cherries!
Thank you for contributing to a day that helped me to awake even more than the day before.  I don't want to wait to be one with the world around me until I am buried within her, I want to know her now and every day of the rest of my life with love in my heart and respect for her greatness and gifts she allows us to share with her.

Diane, you will always be Road Rage, Rosemary and Sage to me.  You taught me a valuable lesson about the path we take in life, you shared your amazing home with me and you prepared me the best baked chicken and potato dinner with no salt and just the right combination of Rosemary and Sage.  I love you my friend, your an amazing woman.  Thank you~

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