|My Soul Tribe Rocks|
|Rocking Orlando with TTO|
I posted my last entry on November 11th 2015. A couple days later I boarded a plane headed for Orlando. I was traveling for a company convention that would inevitably change my life. What you don't know is that at that time, I was three months into counseling to get approved for gastic-bypass surgery. I, like many, had reached a point of desperation and was considering going through with a life altering surgery as a last attempt-in my own mind-to escape my prison of obesity and disabilities.
You see, for all the work I have done over the past five years of healing me on this beautiful one love journey, there was this battle that I kept losing. My battle with obesity. I had tried every diet, literally. I also quit every diet, some because I had never really made a true committed decision to begin with! Some because I had lost the weight through starvation methods (meal replacement, packaged food like products, etc) and once I returned to old eating habits the weight came back, plus some. I quit all diets, even the ones I completed because I had never addressed the core issues associated with my addiction to food. And I was dieting, plain and simple... DIETS DON'T WORK! Not long term anyways. It was a viscous cycle, and it was killing me, not so slowly anymore.
|Orlando November 2015 TTO|
There comes a point when the damage we do to our bodies is too much, our bodies are in the shutting down half of our lives at this point. This is evidenced by not only morbid obesity. This is evident in all things, emotional, physical, energetically. This is evidenced by doctors visits that warn you each time of your risk of heart failure, liver issues, limb surgeries needed that can't get approved by your insurance because they say you are too young, yet you likely won't make it to be old enough to be covered for a new knee or two. This is evidenced by the degenerating quality of your life, less mobility each day and more depression, less and less reason to be here. Being a burden to our family at such a young age is a prison, at least it was to me. Thankfully, I have been doing all this work on loving me these past five years, so I didn't let any of that stop me or my growth in all the other areas of my life. Still that nagging pain daily, that persistent reminder of the quality of my health and life was always there, as my shadow, lurking, waiting. I decided not to wait with it, teamed up with some amazing individuals and got busy!
|Thank you Cedrick for always believing in me, always reminding me of who I am and what I am capable of. Even when I doubted myself, you were always there to give me a dose of truth about who and why. I love you so much.|
Back to Orlando! Where was I? Oh yes, November 2015....
I sat there in my mobility scooter at the front of the room with my team taking up the first couple rows of a conference room filled with a few thousand excited souls. (I have been using mobility scooters at events for a while now, not something I talk about much on here or anywhere, it was a thorn in my side, a reminder of that prison I lived in, a little more each day.) I sat there, it wasn't unlike all the events before. There was good times and great memories created with people who have become family, there was education, there was excitement, laughter, business meetings, etc... But this event was about to become very different than any prior event in my five year career. This was about to become the event that changed it all. They say to go to all the events, because you never know which one will change your life. I am grateful I have made that a career commitment since day one because sitting there one second and standing up the next as Celebrity Nutritionist, Creator of Venice Nutrition Mark Macdonald took the stage my life changed. I knew who he was, I have seen his CNN show, and I loved his heart long before I met him, I loved his passion for helping others, his story about how it started with his Mother fighting obesity that resonated with me so deeply as a mother who has had to ask her sons to put her socks and shoes on too many times to count. He was so inspiring to me long before this day. So when he entered the room, took the stage, I stood up! We all did! And the room broke into a thunder of cheers as his energy filled the room, his aura literally enveloped the room right before my eyes.
|I love you to the moon and back Captain Jack, thank you for being such a|
blessing on my journey, and allowing me to share in yours!!!
He kept us standing for six minutes (for me this was a long time). He laid out the plan of the beta launch of the ZenBodi Project 8 Movement. And something in me woke up. I realized in that 6 minutes that I had the opportunity to avoid gastric bypass, deep down inside something was not right in me about getting this surgery, deep down in me I knew it was the wrong path for me. I realized in that 6 minutes that I had to do this, here was my chance. In that instant, I saw it, a vision as clear as day and I knew exactly what I was going to do. I literally ran (walked really fast at a slow pace) around the front rows, grabbing team mates by the shoulders, looking them dead in the eye and yelling... I AM GOING TO WIN ZenBodi, I AM GOING TO TAKE MY LIFE BACK!
|November 20th 2015 to April 18th 2016|
92 pounds release, Life Gained!
Last night on a corporate hangout the final 50 of the first 100 Transformation were announced along with the Family & Female ZenBodi champions. I won ZenBodi! Winning with a 92 pound weight loss, and even more important, more freedom, more independence. I gained early parole from my prison of a body in the past five months, I have gained back my life, well a big part of it anyways. This is just the beginning. I have 100 more pounds to go to reach my goal weight of 175. But it is a great beginning. So much has happened in the past 5 months since I made that decision and put everything besides this decision and my sheer determination to do what I set out to do had to take a back seat. My writing, my everything, it all paused.
|When we decide, I mean really decide to change it all, nothing and I mean nothing can stop us. Nothing!|
We deserve it, yet we go most of our lives believing exactly the opposite. Let me be the first to tell you,
YOU DESERVE IT ALL!
I embarked on a journey the past five months that required me to do so much more than learn how to eat the way my body was designed to be fed. I have done something so different this time than any time before. I have consciously chosen to make this about getting to the core, the root of why I ended up here. And it just made sense to do so. The past five years of conscious living, becoming more and more self aware. The past five years of awakening since that day in December of 2011 when I was planning my own suicide and realized I didn't really want to die, I just had no reason to live and did the unthinkable... Left it all behind to begin this journey. These past five years of learning to love me, learning to love the world around me and taking full responsibility for it all has prepared me for this moment that I was gifted in Orlando. Everything led up to this one defining moment for me. It is really awesome when we get to see the connectedness of it all, isn't it. What's even cooler for me is realizing that it is when we don't give up in life that we get to go places we would never go if we did give up. I am so grateful that I didn't give up in December of 2011 and decided to take this journey of self love, and I am so grateful it led me to this next step, taking my life back on a new level, a physical level, merging mind, body and spirt into balance now. And I have documented it all. All of it. That rocks. Including my recipes, all my menu planning, my food prepping, all of it, woooohoooo!
|Making the rest of my life the best of my life!|
It just made sense that the next step of my journey of self love would be to love my body. Mind, Body and Spirit. You cannot love one without eventually loving the rest. It's just the way things progress. Aside from taking this step, I have helped hundreds, maybe thousands through inspiration of sharing each step of these last five months with them openly and honestly on Facebook and in our private ZenBodi community, beginning with my first weigh in video on November 20th 2015. On camera I showed the world in a public post that I weighed 368 lbs. I was scared to death to do it, but I knew I had to do it scared. Something in me, that same something that grabbed my teammates in Orlando speaking my future into existence, that part of me knew that I had to share it all. And so I did. And so did others. And what happened next really rocked. We all started getting vulnerable, sharing it all, peeling back the layers of doubt, the layers of lack of worth. We all started to break ourselves down so that we could, together, build each other and ourselves back up. What has happened over the last five months has been so amazing, so rewarding, so inspiring that I am forever changed.
|I have too much to live for, to die not living|
it fully, so do you, SO DO YOU!
I realized a new path in all this too. I realized a new passion quite by default. As a coach for over three years now, doing soul-work coaching as I refer to it, I realized a new purpose in coaching others who want to identify and change their thinking and their lifestyle. Because the two are connected, there is no changing one without the other, not for the long term anyways. So I decided to take this passion, combined with my coaching experience and launch two new programs to help people like me do what I have done and am still doing. I am currently on my way to gaining my certificate as a health coach, getting licensed and taking this to the next level. In the mean time I am offering my initial programs at a huge discount to those who get started with me now while the prices are low and want to embark on their own journey of changing their lives with me, while I am still on the journey to changing my own. Those who want the benefits of being the first group to start with me, leading to becoming part of the bigger picture down the line for some. More will be discussed about this later.
For now I just want to say, Hey One Lovers... I'M BACK! Well part of me anyways, the best parts. You might not recognize me, I have left some parts of me behind. The parts that no longer serve me allowing me to take serving you to the next level too. I had to fully check out of everything else to fully check into me! I love you all from a place of knowing my worth on a whole new level today, and in that new understanding of me being worthy, my message to you isn't hey look at me, I am worthy. My message to you is... YOU ARE MORE WORTHY THAN YOU KNOW, LET ME HELP YOU REMEMBER THAT STARTING NOW!
|I am back! So did you miss me or what?|
If you are interested in knowing more about my coaching, visit my COACHING tab. Send me a message at email@example.com to set up a 15 minute free session so that I can learn more about you, you me and we can make some things happen together.