Wednesday, September 28, 2016

A profession I hate to love

I have been part of an amazing industry for the past five plus years that has grown me in more ways than one. An profession that is anything but professional any given day. One that has taught me more about who I am and who I can become than any job I have ever held. Why then is there days when I want to throw in the towel, days I am so disgusted that it takes everything in me to move forward, even more so why do I stay? A question I have really been asking myself a lot lately.

I am referring to the industry of network marketing. Some of you might know it better as multi level marketing. You know those Amway companies. Those pyramid scheme things. An industry that is currently under fire by the FCC in the United States. That isn't new however, this industry has always been under fire by the American government. Companies like Amway and the like have endured their share of scrutiny and stand strong till this day, some 60 years old. That in itself speaks to the credibility of the business model. Every business model that offers freedom and empowers people to connect directly with people and to do business outside of the typical massive corporation model is subject to hardship from our government. You only have to look at businesses like Uber to see the struggles of great ideas that take the big corporations out of the seat of control by monopoly But I am not here today to talk about the government or any company in particular, they're all great companies in their own way. I am here to today to talk about the real reasons people walk away from this industry with such disgust in many cases that they fuel the long standing rumors that this is all a big scam where some get rich and the many get taken to the bank.

The answer to why do I stay is simple, FREEDOM! I am a free spirit who breaks out in hives when I am locked down to a regular 40 hour a week prison sentence. That is what a regular JOB feels like to me, like prison. I am very special in that I have a natural born ability to overcome challenges, in fact I am motivated deeply by them, I become empowered to do great things through challenges and hardships. What used to make me special in a very different way is that for most of my life I created challenges unknowingly and without accepting responsibility for who was really creating all the challenges I faced. Today is different, today I love myself deeply and the truth is that this industry has played a great role in me growing to love myself more each day.

I have grown to love myself through my many accomplishments, However, my deepest levels of self love have been gained through the many heart aches that come along with this industry. I can honestly say that if I was not at the place of seeking self actualization that I am at, I would have quit long ago and that is why I understand so many throwing in the towel. The pain you will endure here is paramount to any job you can hold, in my humble opinion. You will build  with excitement a business that looks as if it is headed toward success just to see it all come crumbling down before your eyes and that is assuming you make it to the point where you have actually built something that can actaully fall apart. Many people will quit long before this point. People you think are your friends, will reveal themselves to have only loved you because you were in the same company or on the same team, once that changes all bets are off and the gloves come off too. You will be blamed by those who fail, you will be blocked on social media by people who you have done nothing but love and try to help. You will be laughed at by friends and family who can't just say "no thank you" when you offer them the opportunity to join you, they will get on the phone and warn the tribe that you are in another one of those things and you'll start getting voice mails when you attempt to reach out to the rest of your friends and family. You will feel isolated and ostracized, lonely and alone all at once. And there is even more, much more to endure.

You will be faced with the greatest opportunities to call forth the highest or the lowest versions of yourself daily. But you likely won't see them as opportunities when they are happening. You will see them as hardships and consider yourself a victim or not good enough and want to quit.  Experiences that are a guarantee that is fueled by the desperation and greed of this industry. Fueled by the false ideas that many hold that you can own people by those who treat their networks like property fighting tooth and nail to get to them first. A guarantee that is fueled by a "succeed at all costs, as long as you succeed you are a success" mindset that too many hold, The truth is that this profession makes us face our fears and one of our greatest fears is fear of failure, another is fear of rejection. Coincidentally these fears are the ones that equate success the most when overcome time and time again. What I mean by that is that to succeed in this profession, in any entrepreneurial pursuit for that matter, repeat failure is the path to success, repeat rejection is the path success. Learning not to personalize that is the key to unlocking what it takes to win.

But even then, you will still have to endure so much more. Fear of failure has never been my bigger issue, I have failed so much in my lifetime and most of it because the real fear I had was a fear of success. I didn't believe I deserved success because I didn't believe I deserved love. Fear of rejection was never really my issue either, I became very accustomed to rejection in my childhood years. I am only addressing these two fears because they are the most common hurdles most in this industry have to overcome.

The parts that have hurt me the most in this industry and caused pause to reconsider if I belong here is the lack in integrity practiced behind the scenes by people that are held high in the public eye. The fake personas created that ignite a mass following by the many who are desperate to rub up against someone in hopes that they too will be popular and make some money. The games that are played can and do hurt me most. The longer you are here, the higher you climb the clearer a perspective you gain into what goes on behind the scenes and it can make your stomach turn, can if you let it, cause you great distrust of people in general. The people who claim to care about you and everyone else, who when the cookie crumbles take actions that can give the appearance that they only ever cared about themselves can hurt deeply, And if you allow it to, it can jade your perceptions of more than the industry, it can jade your perceptions of people and that my friends is not good, not the course you want to take, or the way you want to walk away. Because there is more than meets the eye available here and all this pain I am talking about is for you, it truly is, if you can stick around long enough to move from seeking gains in what you have to shifting to seeing gains in who you are and can become.

Letting go of the high school, street sense of loyalty played out all too much in this profession is truly a right of passage and one worthy of the work it takes to do so. When you move beyond practicing being disloyal to some to prove loyalty to others, beyond being disloyal to who you are to be loyal to what you gain, and embrace a loyalty is loyal to loyalty first mindset you will realize that you do not have to render any part of yourself for superficial gains that do not sustain you. You will begin to respect yourself more and by default those who prey off your ignorance about what loyalty really is, will also respect you more too.

What does loyalty is loyal to loyalty mean? It means that you no longer compromise your own integrity to prove loyalty to any other person or cause. It means that you stand in the truth of you, who you choose to be and do things in a whole new way, a way that holds only you responsible for your actions. It means that you no longer follow the lead of others that do not align with your core values. It means you graduate from being someones follower to leading your own life in such a way that clears a path for you to make your own choices AND do so treating everyone involved with respect so that they too are empowered to make their own choices. Everyone deserves the right to make informed decisions, false loyalty robs people of that right, practices a need to know basis for the sake of gain and does not stand on the truth always being good enough. False loyalty creates a maze of confusion that preys on the insecurities of others, true loyalty is freedom in action. True loyalty doesn't need to say it is loyal, it just is.

Keep in mind that even when you are honest, practice integrity, keep your dealings straight while practicing loyalty to loyalty first we are all at different stages of growth, so this new way of thinking and being does not award you a bubble of protection from interacting with others still following the old street loyalty, dog eat dog model. However, what it does award you is the opportunity to show others who are where you once were a different example. The key here being "others who are where you once were" . Practice a compassionate level of understanding and humility by remembering where you have come from and loving everyone through it all. After all, we all want the same things, all are one at the core of us and at the end of the day there is not one of us who has not wronged others as well as been wronged by others. Yet we too often, cling only to the part where we were wronged and point the fingers in blame. Stop it. We all have a right to grow at our own pace. As you grow, shine your light brighter, there are many looking for a bright light to illuminate the truth of who they are, they might appear to be the enemy, there are no enemies other than the ones we create in our own minds.

And here is the biggest catch at all, stay with me because this one is a real mind bender. While all the above mentioned can happen, it at the same time could not be happening yet have the appearance that it is simply because we are emotional creatures and in our evolution as business men and women we have to learn to separate emotion from business. Part of that process is the assumptions we make about others actions based on our own fears and perceptions. You can assume people are doing all of the above while all they are doing is doing their own thing. When we part paths in this business, that hurts, there is no way around that. It hurts to end shared dreams and sometimes the only way we know how to fuel the fire of something new is to douse the old in flames of imagination in a false attempt to protect ourselves by letting stories run in lour mind that say anyone could be against us.  Growing beyond that means moving forward without assumptions, letting go of concern for not only what others or doing, but releasing assumptions of how they are doing it and why. Simply put, if you can focus on your path, trust that everyone has the best intentions for themselves and others you can live much happier and accomplish much more, faster!

For as strong as I am, and I am stronger because of all that I have endured and done in my life that rendered great consequences that taught me, I am equally as sensitive. I excel in strength in having an ability to grow through the many pains that are associated with this profession but only because I have made the conscious choice to see it all and everyone I have had experiences with as a mirror reflection of myself. A conscious choice to see myself in every player and address what parts of me I want to release that no longer serve me becoming a better me. Then to give gratitude for the examples of who I, myself have also been at some point in my life. Because of that choice, I am extremely grateful for all my experience in this profession. I have been shown more times than once who I, myself have been and gotten the opportunity to feel what I have caused others at some point in my career and life at some point. I have realized that while I thought my reasons for past behaviors and choices righteous, my reasons were nothing more than justifications at the end of the day. And for that I am truly grateful.

The profession of network marketing is a crash course in soul development. And when looked at that way you can clearly understand why I can't simply walk away. I am no longer in it for the money. This past year alone has removed that goal from my list of TO DO's. I have experienced creating a great income, the highest in my career to date and then watched it disappear before my eyes. What started as my most successful year in my career financially would grow in the next year to also be my greatest financial losses. The good news is that in financial losses I gained so much more,  I was reminded that this is a souls journey, reminded that who I am becoming is so much important to me than what I have. My losses were my greatest gains. Every time a leader left and more from my team followed, until I had no team left other than loyal customers I was shown a mirror reflection of what I, myself had done not so long ago when I left a company and movement I was a powerful part of, and top leader in, and so many followed me. I was grateful that at this point in my life I could see it this way, could see that what was happening to me, had been done by me in the past. I was witnessing karma play out right before my eyes and I was excited to recognize this and correct course. I shifted from feeling as if I was losing to choosing to win at something much greater, something so much more important. I chose to win at becoming a better me. To recognize that there is more than money at stake here. Let me be very clear here, I do not regret any of it. I wouldn't make different choices today. I had to have these experiences in this way to learn what I have learned. I hold within myself a greater truth that dismisses carrying regret, or resentments about anything I, or anyone else does. This is how we learn. And if we can see, when we are being what we consider wronged by someone else, that we ourselves have also been wrong we can laugh at it all and move forward realizing being wrong, and being wronged is not the end of the world. We can stop acting as if only others are wrong and denying our own wrongs. Then my friends we get to be right in a whole new way, a sustainable way.

I grew through these losses and became more committed than ever before. I chose a higher form of loyalty, one that I thought was a loyalty is loyal to loyalty first path. I chose not to be who I had been in the past ever again. The funny thing about saying things like "ever again" is that just when you think you have it all figured out and can say concretely who you are, who you are will be again challenged and you will be faced with new experiences and new choices.  I tried on "staying committed" to my word to stand by my fellow leaders and team who I truly considered family. Even then, even when you do all that and do it with love, it can still all come crumbling down. Those you trust the most can still lie to you. Those you choose loyalty to, loyalty to them before your own personal goals and dreams of success for and sit broke, finding other ways to earn money so that you are not that person who leaves again, can and likely will not do the same. Was it all in vain is a question you will ask yourself when things like this happen. The answer is no, it was not. I grew, I thrived in new areas of self realization and accountability through this too and I would do it all again still. In every end a new beginning reveals itself, a path is cleared and you become free again to grow some more.

You are going to find yourself in these situations repeatedly in this profession. Situations where all that you have built comes crumbling down before your eyes. It won't be the loss of income that huts the most, that part will grow you if you can see the gains being offered through these losses. It will be the actions you yourself, and others take that hurt you the most. It will be the competitive nature of many who will tear you down to build themselves up that will hurt, your own competitive nature to also tear down others to build yourself up, let's not leave ourselves out of any part of this. The whole point of this article is to help you see you, who you are, through me seeing me, who I am. WE are one in the same, we have all made the same mistakes and will make more still. So lighten up about it.

These are the parts of this profession that make me want to walk away and be an Uber driver who spends the rest of her time writing and embracing spiritual growth, never touching this industry again. The problem with that is that this industry enhances both my writing and even more so my spiritual growth when applied properly. And the idea of joining the many who leave and damn this industry as a scam because they never looked deeper does not appeal to me. I am way to deep into recognizing who is responsible for my success and what successful living really is, to take that route at this point. Besides, discounting all the gains here and damaging the reputation of an industry that offers true freedom is not me being my greatest me. Yes, I said freedom. You might not have retired in four years like promised, you didn't bring in two and get rich like promised. But if you stayed the course long enough you gained freedom from the parts of you that lie. I am talking about your fears. The debilitating fears that have held you back in other areas of life. Here you were offered a crash course in facing all your biggest fears, loving yourself more, becoming more. And you thought you were just trying to make money selling some stuff, haha.

What I mean by all this, is that if I look for the gifts, seek the growth, it really does not matter what anyone else is doing or who anyone else is being. What matters is who you choose to be in response to it all. I am sharing this because in these moments that you, yourself will be faced with this can help you greatly to become a greater version of yourself and grow as a soul rather than a network marketer. Quite honestly, I believe we can have both, I have yet to prove that fully, but I am working on it so stay tuned.

When you realize that things aren't always what they appear to be and people aren't always who you thought they were you will want to quit, throw in the towel and join the many who hate this industry and deem it a scam. Before you do, I offer you a higher perspective. One that can and will require you to challenge everything you are used to thinking, feeling and doing when you feel used, betrayed and misled. All actions, all of them, ever taken by anyone are fueled by some form of positive intent. We all mean what we say, when we say it for the most part. Every player deep down truly wishes to help others win. And the truth is that when we realize we failed at that, we hurt. Those who led the way and did all they could to help others and themselves succeed had the greatest of intentions. The greatest intentions for all can quickly turn into intentions for self preservation, and even that is fueled by positive intent. My point is that you can choose truth. The truth is that no one has done anything to you, and certainly anything you perceive as done to you, was in truth, not done to you with intent to hurt you, people are just trying to make it and often give up greater parts of themselves to avoid failing at that. People will more often than not look our for themselves at the end of the day. Our sight narrows and we can easily choose actions that involve cutting our losses and salvaging what is salvageable. We have all done it in our lives. So release judgement of who others choose to be and recognize that they are another version of you, playing a role for you. If you don't like what you see being played, give thanks and shift into gratitude for another version of you, showing you who you can now choose to no longer be. Walk away from those who no longer align with you growing yourself, forget your business for a moment, I am talking about growing ourselves here, because that is what we are really doing weather we realize it or not. Walk away from those you no longer align with doing so with honesty, integrity and grace because that is who you choose to be and putting yourself first does not have to look like deceiving others. The only time we deceive others is when we are not fully confident in our own choices being best for us while simultaneously allowing others to make their own informed decisions too. Stop worrying so much about who is going to agree with your choices, what others will think of you and even more importantly who will join you, follow you and get accountable for who you are being while all this taking place, get clear on why you are doing what you are doing and talk honestly to those involved awarding everyone a chance to make their own choices. There is always more to do, more to be gained, how we do and gain it is a choice.

If you can embrace these truths you will grow yourself and that is the whole point of anything that happens in our lives. This is a souls journey, all the things we get caught up in, the dramas we play out, are all for our souls growth through experience. Once you understand this and practice it through each gain and even more so through each loss, you can choose to approach this from the angle of I am in competition with no one other than your former self. And you can really begin to excel in all the areas that really matter most. You will begin to care less what things look like and embrace a deep care for how things really are, using how things really are to discern who you are really are in each experience and who you will become through it all. The truth will awaken in you that this is an abundant universe, there is enough for us all. You will begin to think abundantly because the parts that hurt, that you once called losses and failure were the parts that grew you and forced you to embrace deeper pursuits. Once you begin seeing things from this perspective you will begin to live with an abundant mind, no longer fearing loss or thinking yourself unworthy, nothing left to prove, then you will not only continue to improve yourself and your life, you will be empowered to help others do the same. You can choose to be the change you want to see in this industry by changing who you are with each experience if you are seeking self actualization and accountability over determining who others are. Just because many play the fake it till you make it, and the dog eat dog nature out in this business, does not mean that is the only way to play this game. If we don't forget while playing the game of network marketing, that it is a vehicle for the improving in the game of life, this profession and industry offers us more opportunity become a greater version of ourselves than any other industry or profession I have yet to be a part of has.

I have never really been a follow the pack type of gal. Especially when the pack is headed in a different direction than what aligns with my goals for self growth. We learn the most about ourselves on the downslide than we ever will on the uphill climb. When things are going good and everyone is working toward a common goal we are all great. When the winds change course and things start to fall apart, that is when we are truly gifted the greatest opportunities to learn what we are made of. The good news is that you really can't get it wrong. And what I mean by that is that if you can love yourself through the many desperate mistakes you, yourself will make in an attempt to succeed you can practice self forgiveness and wake up any day and decide to be an even better person than the day before. If this is your deepest goal, you can also allow others the same forgiveness that you offer yourself.

With all that said, with all the pain and heart ache associated with being an entrepreneur in network marketing, I wouldn't trade it any day for a 40 hour week of doing the same things everyday. I am just not built that way. I would suffocate. That is obviously not the path I chose for this lifetime. I choose transformation through growth. So if you are like me and cannot handle days flowing into days, want the to live the dream of freedom that is overly promised in network marketing and are realizing that it isn't as easy as told, but for some reason cannot walk away just yet, I offer you another way to look at it. A way that can offer you so much more than a promised payday that may never come.

The industry of network marketing can and will grow you if you let it. How it grows you is a choice. I have, myself realized so much about myself through choosing to stop judging who others are and get real about my choices and actions being my sole responsibility. Who I am and who I wish to be as a person, as a soul is my greatest goal. I have chased recognition and gained it, it did not sustain me. I have chased income and gained it, it did not sustain me. I have created movements I felt with everything in me gave everyone a chance to win, they didn't all win and the movement faded.I was not sustained. But through all that, I have also met my best friends here, I have gotten out of my own way in more areas of life than this profession, but it was this profession that helped me to realize my greater potential to do so. I have lost massive amounts of weight, gained mobility and health, used some awesome products and had a hell of a lot of fun. All the pain, disappointment and disgust can never add up to the gains I have gained here. And I can only see it that way because at the end of each day rather than measuring my success on what I have, I have learned to measure it on who I am becoming. I have made the conscious choice to repeatedly remind myself that I am not here to determine who others are, who the world is, rather I am here to determine who I am and who I want to become through my interactions with others who are all seeking the same thing at the end of the day.


I have truly found myself asking if this is the day I say I have gained all I am meant to gain here, without regret for it happening because it has been one amazing journey. Deciding if things truly align with who we are is a journey in itself. No matter what I choose, I will always appreciate the industry of network marketing for all it gifted me.

I love you all from a place of loving who I am today, of gratitude for all that I have learned, for all the amazing souls in my life who have played various roles, all of which have helped me immensely to grow me through continuously choosing who I want to be. I love you all from a place of freedom to be who I choose to be in a world that has failed to convince me to do otherwise. Be yourself, trust yourself and see it all as for you!

One Love,
Lelania













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1 comment:

  1. I love you, and appreciate your experience, strength, and hope, in all its forms.

    Love,
    Kimmy

    ReplyDelete