Friday, May 5, 2017

ACA, AHCA, Obama Care, Trump Care ~ A wounded healers perspective

In sorting through the memories of my childhood, I can remember my mother composting for the garden and teaching us the value of growing our own food. I can still see her placing avocados in a glass in the kitchen window. So vivid are the memories now of avocado seeds rooting in water, held up on the rims of glasses with three tooth pics, while bathing in the the sunlight through the kitchen window.

My childhood taught me so much. However, it would be years before I returned to the fondest memories that were buried deep beneath the pain, clouded in anger and resentment of growing up in an abusive childhood surrounded by addiction and poverty. All I remembered for years was the abandonment, the sexual and physical abuse. My path was shaped by my pain for many years.

I left home in my early teens. Became a mother myself and did what I thought was the best I could do in raising my sons as a wounded child raising children. Never having much money I bargain shopped to keep food on the table and we ate the cheapest foods available. While I cooked homemade meals, vegetables consisted of canned goods for the most part. I knew nothing of the nutritional value of fresh versus canned, and certainly had no knowledge of the BPA lined cans that I fed my family for years. I certainly didn't garden, living in apartments didn't present that opportunity (so I believed) and having little time to do so anyways I lost that art of growing my own food given to me by my mother. We ate conventional grown foods full of pesticides. Convenient foods in cans, bags and boxes. We ate the typical American diet of the 80s and 90s.

As life proceeded, my health declined. I developed several health conditions and became morbidly obese. My oldest son was diagnosed with gout at 25 years old. The results of our diet and lifestyle caught up with us. All those years of saving money, never questioning where my food came from, eating a high animal protein diet created poor health for us all at young ages. I found myself disabled at the age of 38 with degenerative arthritis, unable to walk more than 10 feet. Too poor to afford a wheelchair, I rented one for the day to be able to go to the lake with my grandchildren and never returned it. At 40 I was finally approved for disability and gained health insurance. Then began my journey into dependence on pharmaceutical drugs that did nothing to cure my poor health. By the age of 42 I had diabetes, soon after I was diagnosed with non alcoholic fatty liver disease. We are what we eat, I ate food like products, pesticides and low nutrient foods.

I was dying. And honestly would have rather died than continued to live such a limited life in so much physical and emotional pain. I found myself planning my own suicide in December of 2011. I did not really want to die, I just had no reason to live. And that is where this journey began. There is so much more to this story, however for the sake of this article I think that is enough of a background to share what I am feeling today.

I began this journey the next day with dragging my belongings onto the front lawn with that wheelchair, selling it all and purchasing an old travel trailer and leaving town, towed by a stranger to my first of many locations. I left behind my doctors, and my life as I knew it. I was in a place of nothing to lose and everything to gain. Quite honestly, all that I knew was that my life was going to end if I did not learn to love myself and relearn how to live. I studied day and night to learn about natural ways to heal my dying body. And I began with weening myself off of my various medications before they ran out to lesson the painful withdrawals that giving up opiates, anxiety medications, depression medications would entail. As I lowered my daily intake of what was left in those pill bottles I brought with me, I began to learn about herbs, roots and foods that would help to ease my pain, depression and anxiety. I studied cultural diets. Eastern medicine. Reiki, saw an energy healer. I returned to ancient wisdom and reconnected with nature to find healing. I eliminated gluten, lowered animal proteins, ate only organic and continue today in doing so. Today the only animal protein I eat is eggs, and some organic dairy, and occasionally fish.

Here I am ten years after being diagnosed as disabled. I am walking, I do not have a wheelchair, a walker and I take no pain pills, no antidepressants, no anti-anxiety meds, it is rare that I even take an Aleve or Advil. I am diabetes free, my liver is fully regenerated and healthy. I manage my arthritis pain with ginger and turmeric. I support my bones and muscles with healthy food and supplements that are highly sourced. I have found my way home to healing with creation. I have found my way back to nature, and I have discovered my own healing abilities in the process. It was not an easy journey, change never is. However, it was a beautiful journey, one that revealed to me a deep inner wisdom that I have carried in my cellular memory, the wisdom of our ancestors. Like plants are intelligent and carry intelligence to heal, so do we.

Along side my studies of healing foods, I was also learning to heal energetically through a path of forgiveness. I read books on everything spiritual healing. Began a meditative practice which revealed more latent wisdom that I held all along. As I healed emotionally my healing physically increased as well and I discovered the connection between the emotional, energy and physical body found in many eastern medicine teachings, wisdom also found in all indigenous peoples teachings. As I awakened to my own ability to heal everything in my life changed. I recognized how ignorant I had been all those years, how closed minded I was about the many opportunities to learn the importance of eating healthy, organic, fresh grown fruits and vegetables. Teachings that were present even in my childhood, forgotten teachings reemerged. I forgave myself for my own ignorance. Self forgiveness became a journey all its own that led me to forgiving all others in my life. I have come to know forgiveness and love as the most powerful medicine in healing.

Today my newsfeed on social media is full of outcrys in regards to the AHCA health coverage bill  referred to as Trump Care. A public outcry that is deeply understandable, and I, as an empath fully open to the global consciousness can feel the energy of the planet so powerfully. The energy being generated from both sides of this equation, weather you are for or against either the ACA or the ACHA is all energy of fear, everyone is fearing losing something. Weather it be health care coverage or money due to having to pay higher premiums to help those less fortunate have health care. When the global consciousness reaches high levels of fear and sorrow it manifest in me as unease, a mild to moderate anxiety that creates nausea. I do healing and protective energy work to shut off the connection and protect myself from feeling anything that is not my own so that I can look at what is taking place and hopefully see the bigger picture unfolding, and more importantly find where I am called to be of service. Being of service has also become known to me as great healing medicine.

In deep meditation and contemplation about the issues taking place I was shown my own journey. And I remembered how painful it was, I also remembered how revealing it was. I was shown my own awakening to the healing powers we all hold. I saw very clearly that we are being guided to change. To reach within and remember our own healing abilities. To reconnect with the planet. To realign with natural prevention and healing. Change can invoke fear, walking into the unknown from being a society raised and conditioned to be dependent on government for our essential needs, to empowering ourselves to learn and remember how capable we all are of taking care of ourselves AND each other. We see healers awakening all over the planet. Ancient wisdom returning. We are waking up to what we have created. Yes we created this, all of us have a hand in where we are as a society, with the exception of the indigenous of the world who hold space for ancient wisdom and healing to be remembered by us all.

As an enlightened society WE WILL care for all. All life will be sacred and everyone's basic, essential needs will be met. We will one day in the future restructure it all and return to a deeper connection with creation and all that is created. This is a journey, as it is in the journey that we learn through experiences. The journey is how we remember who we are. This journey involves great suffering, I can completely feel this suffering as I have suffered so much in my own lifetime. I am not without compassion, I am compassion. At the same time, having turned my own suffering into being reborn and awakened to deeper truths, holding space for love to grow now that forgiveness and understanding has taken place, I see so clearly what is happening to us all. The collapse of western civilization is taking place right before our eyes, we are all collapsing with it. We are breaking apart so that as a species we can be rebuilt in truth.

Whatever you are called to do, do that! There is no wrong way to go in this. I am not here to tell you how to feel, how to act, how to live or what side to take.This is not about who is right or who is wrong. I have been and continue to be both right and wrong in my own life and have learned the value of both as part of my own awakening. I am only called to share my own journey. All actions taking place are part of our destiny. Part of a beautiful web we have woven over time that will lead us home. I know this in my heart of hearts. What I am here to do is simply share my own stories of awakening with faith that those intended will find my stories of transformation as intended. I am not an authority on anyone's life, or how you live it. And I have less and less judgement in me every moment about others choices. I have discovered that to judge anothers choices is to take away my own right to choose. I am not called to take a position for or against anyone. I am called to hold love for us all and to serve where called to serve. For me, serving has come in the calling of personal healing and sharing my healing and the love that I now carry in my heart.

I love you all from a place of saying to those who wish deeply to heal on any level, that healing is available. It is within us all. And as each of us heals, the whole world heals. I have come to know that I can save the world through my own healing, and so too can you. Once we heal, we can offer healing to others and so this healing ripples across the global consciousness awakening the energy of healing in and for us all. And when I say "us all", I am talking about all life. All life is connected, every thing alive is connected. Remembering this connection is the most healing power of all.

One Love,
Lelania


Thank you Great Creator for all of it! I can see so clearly now how every part is connected, beautifully connected. What I believed to be my losses rendered my greatest gains, my most expansive growth, my deeper appreciation, all leading me home to you. I was looking for something out there, while everything that exists was within me. Through the seeking, lost, scared, angry and alone, I fell brilliantly and beautifully apart so that I could be renewed with all of it forgiven, it finally became a part of who I've become, am becoming, showing me the purpose in it all. I see now how brilliant your plan is. 

I Am Humbled by your divine plan, holding an unwavering faith now, I no longer need to know all the answers, I no longer need to figure out all out. I see you weaving magic in my life, in all our lives. I hear your gentle voice whispering "this way my child" all around me. I see the mother you gave me beneath my feet, I feel her nourishing love that has been here all along. I receive her wisdom and I offer my gratitude in my actions, protecting her as she has protected me. 

I am yours Great Spirit, yours to shape and to mold, my divine blueprint restored, I surrender to your will for me to serve. Thank you for it all, I can laugh a deep, hearty laugh at the journey it took to get here and see how my stubborn nature will serve me greatly now that I am healed through your eternal, unconditional love. I can love ALL OTHERS as YOU LOVE ME. I can love that BIG, because your love flows through me, as me now. I see no distance between myself and my human family now, my brothers and my sisters hearts beat as my own, I will cherish their beating hearts with compassionate, understanding, all encompassing, unconditional love as you have put it in my heart to love this way, thank you for this gift. I am yours, peacefully, gratefully, eternally yours, use me Great Spirit.

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